An Unconventional Family

By Sandra Lipsitz Bem and Sandra Lipsitz Bern

Book Overview

In 1965, when psychologists Sandra and Daryl Bem met and married, they were determined to function as truly egalitarian partners and also to raise their children in accordance with gender-liberated, anti-homophobic, and sex-positive feminist ideals. During the next ten years, they exuberantly shared the details of their daily lives in both public lectures and the mass media in order to provide at least one concrete example of an alternative to the traditional heterosexual family. In the 1990s, Sandra Bem also published an award-winning book, The Lenses of Gender, which spelled out the feminist theory behind their feminist practices.
This second book by Sandra Bem, an autobiographical account of the Bems nearly thirty-year marriage, is both a personal history of the Bems past and a social history of a key period in feminism s past. It is also a look into feminism s future, because the Bems children, Emily and Jeremy, now in their early twenties, speak at length in the book as well.

Bem analyzes what aspects of family background and psychological makeup led her and Daryl to bond so immediately and to become gender pioneers. She describes the egalitarianism and feminist child-rearing that they invented for their private needs and tells how these family agendas were transformed into public feminist discourse. Finally she reassesses this early feminist union now that the marriage has come to an end and the children are young adults, evaluating (with the help of lengthy interviews with Emily and Jeremy and a brief epilogue by Daryl) what the Bems experiences--both positive and negative--have to say about the viability and necessity of nontraditional gender arrangements in society today.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0300090927
• ISBN13: 9780300090925
• Release Date: September 2001
• Publisher: Yale University Press
• Length: 240 Pages
• Weight: 0.50 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 5.1" x 7.9"

Customer Reviews

Wonderful Eye-Opener

This book really helped our family to recognize what ..... attitudes we were unknowingly bringing into our home. The Bems' autobiography gives a clear guide to raising non-...., non-homophobic children. Though my husband and I consider ourselves to be feminists, we were really suprised to discover that there was so much more we could do for our children, and good examples we could set for them.

great book

Fascinating look at gender issues in child rearing. Well worth the time, plus engrossing and entertaining.

A book every woman and man should read

Bem is a pretty cool psychologist who lives her life in a way to test the theories she proposed. It really helps those who want to raise their kids in a non-sexist and gender aschematic way to gain more insights of the practical issues in doing that. I really appreciated that being a researcher Bem was able to share her personal life to others so as to illustrate the gender related problems and struggles in our society.

Interesting look into an equal marrage

The Bems tried an equal marriage that no one had tried before them. They had no role models, no guide books, only their unconventionally gendered past to lead them into finding a marriage that could suit them both. The idea of equal marriage is an old one these days, but it was a scandal only thirty years ago. The subsequent description of their feminist child raising is a look at how difficult it is not to bring gender stereotypes into the home. The results of this genderless child raising is unique insight into how much freer people become when they are outside the constraints of gender. This autobiography is very enjoyable account of a one of a kind life. I recommend it for anyone curious about other forms of marriage/child raising.