It has never been safer to state the obvious and it's about time we can all start agreeing on this. Not just with pit bulls, everything. Romance, the Internet, the economy, addiction, the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid, white women, America, Chomsky honks, all of it. With a copy of All Dogs Go To Heaven Except Pit Bulls you'll not just be ahead of the curve but beyond it until The United States starts to balkanize or the economy flatlines in 2040, whatever comes first. Until then, I hope to see you in a crowd as I read from this, among other selected works to anyone who paid to see a man in sweatpants, Hawaiian shirt and luchador mask talk up a mess live. Yes, this is financial advice. It's also legal advice and dare I say - life advice. "Every great new work of art feels like it shouldn't exist, and also like the world would fall apart unless it does exist. This is one of those great new works of art. They don't happen quite often, so treasure them when they appear. We're gonna live." - Cody Clarke, writer/director of 'No Shark' "A modern Socrates, by which I mean a large Greek man who smokes, drinks, speaks in proverbs, and relays insightful, dangerous (but always true) advice." - Roman D'Ambrosio "The book that turned shitposts into a literary genre." - Anatomy of the Heads "stained hanes is the Gabriel Garcia Marquez of shitposting. In fact, if left alone with his tweets, you could endure One Hundred Years of Solitude" - Jarod Kintz
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