Accidental Bond: How Sibling Connections Influence Adult Relationships

By Susan Scarf Merrell and Susan Merrell

Book Overview

"A fascinating and informative read."

*The Boston Globe

"A RICH SOURCE OF FASCINATING MATERIAL about the complex realities of siblinghood and a valuable commentary on the impact that these little-studied relationships have upon our lives."

*The New Republic

"Many books have attempted to tackle the complex theme of sibling connection. But rather than look at the minutae of these relationships, journalist Susan Scarf Merrell examines the big issues that all siblings wrestle with in their own unique ways *in particular the Three Cs: Competition, Cooperation, and Comparison. What she discovered was that no matter what kind of relationship we now have with our siblings *close or distant, loving or hostile *our histories with them exert a profound effect on our current relationship with lovers, friends, coworkers, and our own children. Drawing on the most current research; the work of psychologists, psychiatrists, and family experts; and stories from brothers and sisters themselves, Merrell illustrates that through siblings, we come to know both the worst and the very best that lurks within each of us.

"Susan Merrell brilliantly illuminates how the peculiar mix of biology, history, and intimacy makes our attachments to siblings so essential to knowing ourselves."

*Mary Kay Blakely

Author of American Mom

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0449911195
• ISBN13: 9780449911198
• Release Date: January 1997
• Publisher: Ballantine Books
• Length: 320 Pages
• Weight: 0.88 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.6" x 8.4"

Customer Reviews

Descriptive and informative

This book was written by a journalist who interviewed all the siblings of several families. The descriptions of the people that she met were well-drawn. The author also outlined some of the concepts that have been put forth by psychologists studying sibling relationships and character development. These were interesting, and went beyond the most usual system of birth order characterization.My intent in reading this book was to gain some insight on some pernicious troubles that persevere in my relationships with my own siblings. This book didn't seem very helpful in that light. A few of the relationships had some undercurrents, or outright problems, but there wasn't a lot of narrative about solving the problems. The problematic relationships seemed to be glossed over by the subjects themselves, so that there wasn't even any material that gave me a chance to see problems similar to my own from the other perspective.

interesting perspective on siblings

This book gave me much to think about how I relate to my adult sisters. The stories of the siblings told by the siblings are well-written by Susan Scarf Merrell. I look forward to her next book.