Just like a map is not the territory, what we think about our dogs is not what our dogs are. We might notice that often what we believe or think about our dogs, their behavior, and their training is more a reflection of who we are and what we believe about right and wrong, or what it means for us to live a good life, than it is about noticing them as beings and what might most help them flourish. We may even unknowingly live out our ideals through our dog because, for the most part, dogs let us. This human propensity to believe what we think about dogs, instead of feeling into, seeing, and noticing direct experiences with them, can obscure profound self-discovery, or sometimes, even worse, make us oblivious to what our dogs might actually need to be happy. But if we are willing to notice or even entertain the possibility that, as talking creatures, we all get caught in our stories, then we can change. We can shake loose and discover a flexibility around making workable decisions related to training our dogs, and even more importantly, we will, willingly or not, find ourselves wading right into our deepest longings of connectedness with a creature that does not judge, acts from heart, and patiently allows us to take the time it takes to discover our own stuff and unearth it. With some effort, we can find that sweet spot where our deepest wants overlap our dog's deepest wants, a space I call shared purpose.
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