A Journey of Unusual Grief: Falling in Between the Steps and Stages

By Alexandra Wassermann

When I fell in love, I didn't need books to tell me what I felt or how to behave. When my husband died and my love became grief, there were no books for me either.The publications, websites, the well-meaning advice of friends and professionals tried to comfort me. They didn't. They just made me feel guilty. I can't follow the rules. What step is this? What stage am I at? I know I'm not on track the way everyone thinks I should be. I discovered that I am not normal widow material. I fell to my knees, banged my head on the floor, and bayed at the moon. I let the pain eat me. I knew instinctively what was right for me.The first year was brutal. I couldn't find that sweet rainbow path that led to the magic, misty destination of acceptance. Where in the hell was that God to light my way and make everything all right. My path was dark with no end in sight. Why did I throw away the map to the steps and stages? The road I picked was filled with rocks, and thorns. The dust covered everything in gray. I stumbled, fell, and sobbed. I picked up my head and dragged body forward by my fingernails... One wretched day, in a moment of surrender, an idea took form. I'll paint the pain with words. The page will be my palette. I'll be able to see where I've been, where I am, and what lies beyond the precipice. While I chronicled the tragedy, I stared into space...Then I got it! There was a way I could live! In addition to the journal of my experience, I realized I didn't need to tread water in a past that no longer existed. I could paint a future!I combined my theory of "thoughts become things," with my life-long belief in reincarnation, and began writing about the future. How and when I would meet my husband again. A Journey of Unusual Grief is my story. No surrender. No defeat.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0615615023
• ISBN13: 9780615615028
• Release Date: December 2012
• Publisher: Willow Valley Publishing
• Length: 218 Pages
• Weight: 0.76 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.5" x 0.5" x 5.5"