A Cruzmas Carol: Ted Cruz Takes a Dickens of a Constitutional (White House Sweet '16)

By Lacey Noonan

What the dickens is wrong with sexy-man Ted Cruz? He's got it all... The stunning good looks, the six-pack abs, the women draped all over him, the perfect record as a hard-balling, take-no-guff U.S. Senator. So why won't he run for president? What's his deal? Why's he being such a Tedbenezer Scruz? At a party in his honor at Fizzywhigs-the exclusive Washington, D.C. club-Ted surprises one and all with a shocking announcement: He's retiring from politics! The private sector is calling, its easy, greasy cash flow and lazy requirements are too seductive to pass up. But his plans are about to change. After a *hot* makeout sesh with his sexy staffer Roberta, Ted has a digestive emergency and sprints to the men's room, where he runs into an old, long-dead coworker. Irritated, not heeding this magical spirit's warnings, Ted is told he will be visited by three more ghosts before the night is over. Ted ignores these omens, and so within minutes is being sucked through glory hole after ol' glory hole to the past, present and future to learn some heartwarming lessons about America, freedom and also American freedom. It will take everything that these three "spirits of the men's room" have to bring Ted to his senses. It's up to them-the Bathroom Attendants of Constitutionality Past, Present and Future-to warm his heart towards the world, to teach this perfect, sexy politician with the abs of a male model what it means to truly give oneself up to the greater good-and to award humanity with his manhood deep in the Oval Office. Rich with derisive and scintillating prose, and festooned with 36 handsome illustrations, "A Cruzmas Carol" by Lacey Noonan will leave you satisfied and panting for more. 'Tis the season... the POLITICAL season!

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 152275573X
• ISBN13: 9781522755739
• Release Date: December 2015
• Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
• Length: 108 Pages
• Weight: 0.38 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.0" x 0.3" x 5.0"