Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

By Lindsay C. Gibson

Book Overview

A New York Times bestseller--with 1.5 million copies sold

If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent's behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.

In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents' emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you'll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.

Discover the four types of difficult parents:

The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxietyThe driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1626251703
• ISBN13: 9781626251700
• Release Date: June 2015
• Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
• Length: 216 Pages
• Weight: 0.80 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.9" x 8.9"

Customer Reviews

Extremely helpful.

I learned alot about my parents and how my childhood still affects me at age 53.

Healing both my spouse and myself.

My partner and I read a few pages every other night together. we were skeptical at first but it is now always close at hand with many post its and notes. The first half was very validating, I understand the earlier review about it being drawn out with many examples, I do think there are a fair number of people that would really resonate with them and help them draw parallels to people in their lives. so I think those are valuable to keep in though not everyone’s cup of tea. We were able to spot behaviors of the relevant people in our lives and be able to not get dragged into their agenda or spend energy figuring out how to approach them differently with better words/perspective…if our answer was not what they wanted their response would always be the same Once we got through the first part, with support from our therapist, we started communicating and enforcing our boundaries without feeling the weight of being responsible for their response/feelings or experience. It’s been absolutely freeing.

Great Concept, Drawn Out Explanation

I think this book’s greatest strength is introducing the concept of emotionally immature parents and helping readers recognize what that can look like in real life. I found the discussion of emotionally immature behaviors, traits, and relationship patterns genuinely interesting. I appreciated the idea that emotional immaturity exists on a spectrum. Not every emotionally immature parent is a narcissist or intentionally harmful, and the book does a good job exploring the many ways emotional immaturity can show up in family relationships. Unfortunately, I struggled with the book’s execution. Nearly every concept was followed by multiple examples and case studies, and after a while it felt repetitive. I often found myself understanding the point quickly and then having to skip through pages of stories that added little insight. Towards the end, I started skipping many of the examples altogether. For me, this is a book that had stronger ideas than writing. The core framework was valuable, but I think the same lessons could have been communicated in far fewer pages. I’m glad I read it because it gave me useful language and concepts for understanding family dynamics. However, it isn’t a book I would reread, and it isn’t one I would consider a standout in the psychology and personal growth space. There are other authors and books I would recommend first. A worthwhile concept, but an overly long delivery.

Extremely impactful

This book was amazing and I highly recommend. It helps put a lot of things into perspective, even if you don’t have contact with your parents anymore

Excellent copy

The book came in great time. There was some highlighting. Book was in great condition.

A must have for hurting Adult Children

This book is an absolute must for individuals navigating the past and current experiences of having emotionally immature parents. Do you find yourself feeling alone, unheard, invalidated, and unsupported when reaching out to your parents? Do you deal with the consequences of having parents who are unwilling or unable to help guide you through tough times? Purchase this book, feel understood and connected with others who have dealt with the same types of emptiness and hurt from their parents. This book not only offers personal accounts that you may be able to relate to, it helps you gain an understanding as well.

Very comforting

If you ever had parents that are emotionally immature, or if you grew up with toxic parents this is perfect for you. It gives you peace, validation, and more understanding of your parents/situation. It really made me feel more at peace how I am today and seeing where to work on my own emotions and how to be a better parent. I cannot recommend this book enough.