When Good Men Behave Badly: Change Your Behavior, Change Your Relationship

by David B. Wexler

This is the only book written specifically for men in a language that is respectful to men, about how to deal better with the most important relationships in their lives. It provides real tools for... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1572243465
• ISBN13: 9781572243460
• Release Date: February 2004
• Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
• Length: 195 Pages
• Weight: 0.70 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 6.0" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

My Boyfriend Actually Read It, and LOVES It.

My relationship with my boyfriend was wonderful in so many ways but one little thing would tip it over and the whole empire would crash down. My boyfriend was utterly incapable of understanding his own feelings and thought that my even having feelings was irrational. It all came to a head one week and my boyfriends life (which was completely normal, controlled, responsible, highly successful in his career) spun out of control, ending in a DUI. An otherwise wonderful man completely lost control. I was at my END with him for so many reasons and thought there might be no hope for repair. I turned to this book and gave it to him. He actually read it. And now recommends it to ALL MEN when they need and are ready for a wake-up call. Its great because its written by a man for men. Women can benefit too, but men will "get" this book and not shove it aside like other women-perspective self-help books.

An Excellent Way to Help You and Your Partner Ovecome Abuse

This book is written by one of the best therapists in the field, Dr. David Wexler. I have at times confronted and dealt with abusive behavior both in my role as a therapist, and personally in my own life. I have read numerous books on abuse and can say that this one is especially good for men to read who have subjected the people they care about to both verbal and physical abuse. Dr. Wexler understands men in a very deep way and in this book he gives them both straight and compassionate talk. And, he is an excellent couples counselor. This book helps men understand why they resort to these behaviors. Better yet, he shows them how to stop. - Dr. Lisa Love, Beyond the Secret

Valuable Insights Even As New Roles Emerge

If it tastes good, don't tell them it's good for them. Mom learned this important lesson early and fast. A new and diverse generation of healers is slowly catching on. In his book When Good Men Behave Badly (hereinafter "Good Men"), David Wexler tackles an ambitious project - namely to introduce the most contemporary research on adult male psychology within a framework that renders it digestible to even the most"offensive" male contingent. He succeeds by co-opting the familiar pop fiction lexicon of good guys, bad guys, heroes and villains, all surrounded by damsels in varying levels of distress; and by making productive use of fictional characters from popular books and films selected to illustrate various behavioral aberrations. The benefit here is two-fold: 1) fictional characters are always deliberately - and conveniently -- skewed one way or another in furtherance of a contrived plot and 2) once readers are assured that "he couldn't possibly be talking about me," it becomes easier to evaluate and apply the concepts those characters are selected to illustrate. While this book's main focus involves improving relationships between men and women, it serves a greater purpose in helping newer subgroups of men to better understand one another. Because it's now 2005 and not 1975, the planet has come to include an assortment of communities in which many males have almost as little in common with Wexler's "good men" as the females - not to mention new role authority females who have usurped all those aberrations traditionally reserved for men. (Many of us who are Star Trek fans cannot help but wonder if Captain Janeway is really nothing more than the `60s Captain Kirk with ovaries - but I digress . . .) Many of us who survived the `80s "Iron John/Fire In The Belly" men's movement (replete with episodes of collective whining and rancid bongo drumming) view the "good men" psyche as though recalling a bad dream. We are grateful for having been rescued and, while it would be arrogant to pretend any kind of superiority, we do find ourselves faced with a different set of challenges. If we accept the notion that "going home again" is not an option, then it follows that one consequence of "crossing over" is to lose recollection of "what it's like" to be trapped in that earlier psyche. Accompanying this lost frame of reference is the risk of becoming captive to attitudes of intolerance, as in "Shape up or ship out!" As part of the crossing over process, many of us incurred heavy doses of bludgeoning shame from `70s feminists who, as a consequence of their own exploration of the unknown, simply didn't know any better. It takes a concerted effort when encountering Wexler's "good men" not to look back in reproach. Wexler's forgiving but not condoning attitude toward his "good men" (i.e. no ingenuous group hugs but no ghoulish public executions justified by "closure"either) recalls yet another cherished mid 20th century concept worthy of resurrection - w

Required Reading for Couples Troubled by Man's Behaviour

I knew I would love this book when the opening paragraph referred to a novel by Russell Banks, a novelist who writes with sensitivity and compassion for the male world. As a wife, I was heartbroken by my husband's affair. He accused me of being "controlling" - yet could not cite a single instance of my controlling behaviour or explain what he meant. He had a classic mid-life crisis. This book explains it all: the male experience, the emotional handicaps, the bewildering treatment.All couples grappling with troubled relationships should read it. Great advice for raising boys is included.

Men Will "Get"This Book!

Dr. Wexler has done something in this book that has the potential to make a lasting difference in male/female relationships. He has given us a simple language and a bright new understanding of how couples with good intentions derail...best of all, both men and women can relate to it and apply it. This is not the 'same old, same old' communication formulations that women get but men are confused and put off by. Men will "get" this book. I wish it had been available when I was doing couples therapy...I would have made it "required" reading.