The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating

by David M. Buss

Book Overview

The groundbreaking, provocative book that uses evolutionary psychology to explain human mating and the mysteries of loveIf we all want love, why is there so much conflict in our most cherished... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0465021433
• ISBN13: 9780465021437
• Release Date: January 1995
• Publisher: Basic Books
• Length: 272 Pages
• Weight: 0.45 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.4" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

Provocative...

I gave this book a 5 rating because it is provocative and challenges a lot of society's assumptions about sexual behavior. While I realize the book has some shortcomings, it does shed a lot of light on human mating strategy. I thought the author's notion of long term and short term mating strategies in both sexes was fascinating. It makes logical sense and it seemed to make sense with my experience of people in American culture. I also found the examples and references he used to back up his arguments interesting. While this isn't a perfect book from a research perspective, it is excellent for what it is... a trade paperback written for a general audience. I recommend it to anyone who wants a deeper understanding of human sexual behavior. Also... a lot of the information in this book is redundant with the content in the same author's book on jealousy. You may want to get one or the other first and get the other one later depending upon how big a fan you are of his approach to these topics.

Achieving harmony between the sexes

Buss has taken the story of human evolution a significant step forward with this comprehensive study. As with the other mammals, human mating behaviour is a compelling subject of study. In this comprehensive account, Buss ranges over the many aspects we associate with mating, from conflict through pain to legislation. Mating practices, whether human or other animal, are the product of evolutionary pressures. Until we recognize those roots, Buss argues, we will never fully understand many elements affecting our lives. One of the first elements to consider is that both men and women have short- and long-term mating strategies. These "programs" must be taken in account when dealing with relationship issues.Buss is forthright about the study of evolutionary psychology and human social activities. He asserts that many roles, under attack by some people in our society, are deeply rooted in our background. We will never legislate them away nor be able to ignore them. There are inherent differences between the sexes, and these must be recognized for what they are. Society has attempted to smother some of these differences, and failure to stifle natural urges have likely led to more social suffering than any other single cause. Buss goes further than simply calling for more attention to the basis for our mating behaviour. He notes some surprising aspects of our relationships. The "henpecked husband" is more prevalent than even our comedians would expect. Males, especially in a long-term relationship Buss argues, will become more submissive than females. They will change or accept demands more than those just entering a liaison. This certainly refutes the long-held stereotype of submissive women. On the assumption readers will seek out his chapter on rape, there are no end of surprises here. Although few would argue ape is an adapted evolutionary strategy, the demographics of rape do show a relation with normal patterns of male sexual behaviour.This book is the result of a massive amount of research undertaken over many human societies. Not simply a quick snapshot of a few people from the Western world, the information here has been gleaned over many years and many cultures. The patterns Buss describes are universals of the human population. Nor is this simply a dry academic study. Buss is aware of social issues, personal and gender prejudices and legal considerations. He is careful to note that evolutionary roots are not "genetic determinism" and men and women are not "doomed" to follow particular behaviours. As he puts it, "understanding why sexual strategies have developed and what functions they were designed to serve provides a powerful fulcrum of changing behaviour." His candid approach, combined with a style designed to impart information without overwhelming his readers, makes this a valuable book. More teachers, legislators and counselors should read and apply Buss' findings. His work should eliminate many prejudices if

You may not want to read this book

There are certain things that we may be better off not knowing. The fact that there is no such thing as Santa Claus is probably something we should know. The fact that there is no such thing as "romantic love", however, is something else.According to this book, romantic love is the result of a simple calculation regarding a person's worth as a mate. In other words, your husband or wife loves you not because you are a good person, but because you have an adequate level of worth on the mating market. Buss says that men judge women's worth as mates by their "youth" (defined broadly) and (expected) fidelity. Women, argues Buss, judge men's worth according to their resources (ability to share money) and social status.It is intuitive that youthful women attract many men, and that men who are rich (or are likely to be) attract many women. The only difficulty with this idea, though, is that according to Buss, these criteria are pretty much it. Although he pays some lip service to "compatibility" and other factors, it is clear that at most, he would award them an honorable mention.He gives an anecdotal example to illustrate his argument: a group of women are sitting at a restaurant, lamenting the absence of available good men. All around them, however, are unmarried men working as waiters. The conclusion is that these waiters weren't attractive to the women as potential mates because they lacked "resources" and high social status. That they may have been kind, decent, funny and interesting didn't register on the radar.Maybe you will conclude that Buss oversimplifies the process by which people attract, and are attracted to, others. But if you read the book, I think you will find that it is hard to criticize. The Evolution of Desire is very well-written and persuasive.Although this is an excellent book, you still may not want to read it. At least not if you wish that you still believed in Santa Claus.

Men are NOT from Mars!

Although this book easily classifies as a must in any library of evolutionary psychology, it also will offer a great deal of insight to the laymen on how human sexuality really works (and why) through clear cut comparisons with ancestral man an the entire animal kingdom. All of the studies and investigations that lead to the conclusions in this book are completely covered, leaving the reader with no doubt as to the source of these amzing behavioral discoveries. Wonder no more why men and women do the "things" they seem to do in practically every social situation. So whether you need information for a Masters Thesis or just want to know more about why we are what we are, this publication is the one.

Venus and Darwin on a date

For the individualist, it's not easy to think of human behavior as largely a mass of strategies selected by evolution. Yet the evidence from several directions is impressive, if not entirely convincing in all respects. _The Evolution of Desire_ should play an important role in the popular science writing of our age, illustrating both the influence and the boundaries of evolutionary selection on human behavior. Both readable and well documented, _Evolution_ goes beyond simply interpreting modern behavior in terms of evolutionary stories. Buss also synthesizes massive amounts of data from far reaching and extensive cross-cultural studies to reveal the patterns in our attraction, mating, and separation behaviors. Notably, exceptions to the patterns are discussed at length. This aspect leaves the reader with a slightly better understanding of the limitations of strict evolutionary thinking than we find with the similar and also excellent "Anatomy of Love" by Helen Fisher. Human behavioral flexibility is emphasized, and our potential freedom from the patterns of evolutuionary selection, through knowledge of those patterns. Much of _Evolution_ will seem consistent with common experience, while some will be remarkable new food for thought. There is virtually no aspect of intimate human relationships that does not have some light, or at least a new and intriguing viewing angle, cast by the broad strokes of evolutionary psychology in David Buss' absorbing web of sexual strategies and counter-strategies