The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing It, Stopping It, Surviving It

by Leslie Vernick

Book Overview

Leslie Vernick, counselor and social worker, has witnessed the devastating effects of emotional abuse. Many, including many in the church, have not addressed this form of destruction in families and relationships because it is difficult to talk about. With godly guidance and practical experience, Vernick offers an empathetic approach to recognizing an emotionally destructive relationship and addresses the symptoms and the damage with biblical tools...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0736918973
• ISBN13: 9780736918978
• Release Date: August 2007
• Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
• Length: 256 Pages
• Weight: 0.64 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.2" x 8.8"

Customer Reviews

Not what expected but you might like it

The book was recommended to me by my therapist at the time. The book has some great things to take away, such as quizzes for you. Overall I found that i could not relate to the stories of the couples. Due to not being religious I struggled to relate.

Had some good advice

Had some good advice. Wasn't the best book I have read but I am glad I read it. I recommend: -10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages by Karla Downing -Why does he do that? By Lundy Bancroft -The Verbally abusive relationship By Patricia Evans -Not to People Like Us By Susan Weitzman -The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner -Codependent No More by Melody Beattie - Love Honor and Negotiate By Betty Carter -Boundaries in Marriage by John Townsend and Henry Cloud -The Dance of Intimacy By Harriet Lerner

Best book I have read on this subject!

I absolutely loved the way Leslie Vernick included all the scripture verses and references in her book. I used my reading time for my devotions and thoroughly enjoyed it. It was so good to have all those verses to balance scripture with scripture my husband quotes. I also loved the examples, the stories of her clients, and especially the dialogues I need to memorize and use. She has given me so much hope through her fantastic book. Her "Resources for Additional Help" has given me even more hope. There are several more books from her list I want to read, especially her other book "How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong". The first book I read on this subject and also highly recommended to others was "The Verbally Abusive Relationship". Another excellent book I read was "You Can't Say That to Me! Stopping the Pain of Verbal Abuse--an 8-Step Program" by Suzette Haden Elgin, Ph.D. She is the author of "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense" series, which I would also like to read. I do not know if these authors are Christians or not as the books I read are secular, so I especially love the way Leslie Vernick's book leaves no one wondering if she is a Christian or not! As soon as I started reading her book, I knew it was going to be an excellent book and started recommending it to people after only reading a couple of chapters. I have been recommending it to our counselors as the best book I have read on the topic. It has given me hope and confirmed the steps I have been taking are in the right direction. I feel like I am finally getting some direction and guidance as to what to do rather than feeling so helpless and trapped without a clue what to do besides pray and wait on God for direction. I believe God is going to use this book to help give direction for those of us desperately seeking it.

Best Book on How To Live With a Difficult Person

I am so very grateful Leslie wrote this book for those of us in difficult relationships. She shares with candor and comfort how to ask the right questions, seek help, get healthy and stay strong - whether or not the difficult person in your life changes. In addition to a very practical questionnaire, the entire book is an easy, understandable read with useful applications and plenty of scriptural support. I've already personally worked through many of the truths Leslie shares, but I gleaned so much additional information and encouragement I wish I would have known years ago. If you've been wounded or hurt or know someone who has--or is--this book is a must for your library.

Seeing it & Working on stopping it

This book is so packed with practical explanation and advice on what to do when faced with a difficult relationship. I have and entirely new (and biblically sound) perspective on drawing boundaries within a family relationship that has been plaguing me for years. Ms. Vernick has explained the internal motivations of those who manipulate or emotionally hurt others. It is such a positive book, giving the best advice on how to preserve, yet change a a relationship from destructive to healthy.

Understanding Destructive Emotional Relationships and What to Do About Them

I found this book helpful in understanding what causes a destructive relationship as well as the elements necessary for a relationship to flourish. Leslie writes with wisdom and compassion. She offers practical information, not only for those primarily involved, but also for outside "people helpers" who are eager to jump in and solve problems, often giving the wrong advice. I like the way she approaches her subject from a biblical perspective and gives us all hope that we can choose to improve our relationships with each other. I especially appreciate her information on conflict resolution. This is a book I highly recommend!

When relationships are harmful

None of us is without challenging relationships in our lives, but Leslie offers guidelines for when they've crossed the line to "harmful." Her book will help those in negative relationships determine what part of the problem with another they "own." Most important, she'll guide them through steps of recovery. This is not a one-box-fits-all book; many relationships are so troubled that they truly need professional counseling. But Leslie's book will point out the trouble spots and help people on the road to wholeness--or at least to understanding a way through the problem. I've come to expect lay-friendly yet professional wisdom in Leslie's books, and this one continues that track record. If you're looking for compassionate (and Christian) perspective on this difficult topic, you won't want to pass it up.