Here Speeching American: A Very Strange Guide to English as It Is Garbled Around the World

by Ross Petras and Kathryn Petras

Book Overview

THE STRANGEST (AND FUNNIEST) TRAVEL GUIDE YOU'LL EVER READ The celebrated authors of the perennial bestseller The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said set the typical travel guide squarely on its... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0812973151
• ISBN13: 9780812973150
• Release Date: October 2004
• Publisher: Villard Books
• Length: 223 Pages
• Weight: 0.38 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 4.7" x 7.3"

Customer Reviews

here speeching american

Even if I do not "speech american as my mother`s tongue" I could not stop laughing reading this wonderfull book. Made me realize how difficult it is to translate culture.

Delightful book for any word fan or world traveler

For those people who delight in circling garbled or gramatically incorrect headlines and roadway signs in their everyday life, this book is a surefire winner. Authors Petras and Petras take the reader on an international journey of well-intentioned but absolutely mis-used English. This small-format paperback is broken into chapters by usage, from traveling to sightseeing to athletic events to dining to dealing with government agencies. Not surprisingly, Asian examples make up a good portion of the book, but there are also delightful entries from Italy, Russia, and European counties. What makes this book work is the structure and commentary provided by the authors. This isn't a laundry list of goofy signs, rather, it is an intelligent anthology of English usage organized by subject matter. The authors provide commentary and introduction to all of the sayings, signs, and instructions.

Adults say the stupidest things ... in all countries

Having read some of the Petras siblings' previous work, I first thought this book was really going to be a stretch ... almost sinister, in fact.Quite the opposite. Having made a fortune off the malapropisms of English-speakers in the so-called civilized world, Ross and Kathryn now turn their attention to how people in other countries use English ... to often hilarious results.From the North Korean hit parade with such songs as "The Day I Received the Distinguished Service Medal" and "Robot is Introduced into my Working Place", to the baffling poster for a railway in Japan that said "TRAIN+ING=TRAING", to the European film industry (with such classics as "Egg! Egg?" and "Recharge Grandmothers Exactly!"), Ross and Kathryn (one a journalist, the other an ex-diplomat) recharged this writer's funnybone to the point of a near-ulcer.Take, for instance, instructions for common consumer products. Examples: "ice of shape Half-circled and flat so that ice dropout from ice-maker directly that while ice-making and taking out ice without applying hands to touch ice. Healthy first!" Or "This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark." Would you buy Barf laundry detergent? It's actually a best seller in Europe and the Middle East.Like Hong Kong kung fu flicks? You may not like the subtitles. Like: "Who gave you the nerve to be killed here?" Or: "I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out."And it's not just limited to other countries. Even the United States government comes in for criticism, with its crash course in Hungarian for diplomats to be stationed in Budapest: "In the case of the first possessive, the pattern is: Basic form of the first possessive (or corresponding possessive if modified by a possessive adjective in English) plus dative of the third person "his" form of the second possessive plus definite article ..." Well, you get the idea.These just scratch the surface ... there are hundred of nuggets like that in this fine book.Art Linkletter says that kids always say the darndest things. After reading this book, one will conclude that wherever he or she travels, adults always say the stupidest things.

"For You, I Always Think Of Your Thing."

This is an utterly brilliant book of English language gaffes from around the world. I frequently found myself laughing out loud when I was reading this book, and especially delighted in the interesting translations from Asia, Russia, and Italy. I could not put this book down once I started reading, and continue to pick it up and read random sections for amusement. My favorite pages are 164-166, and 182-182 which largely concern Asian and Italian mistranslations, respectively. Some completely random examples of perfectly stunning English are as follows: "Rocco Buttiglione: He has studied jurisprudence...under the guide of Prof. the Augosto Of the Walnut..." "The power of the head of state is not unlimited. Why is it said that the power of the President is not unlimited? Probably the idea comes from the English translation: 'It is not unlimited.'" "Brain for rent." "After you vomit, you rinse your mouse and if you can eat, eat." "Has any part of your body suddenly grown uncontrollable? Do you have heart thrills? Do you feel as if there were two when there is only one? Are more than half of your teeth off? Do you readily become orderless unless you are strained?" "If you want to have a vowel movement, don't stop." "Pleasure show: She goes by her feaking." "Member of the University Mouthfulls" And possibly my favorite... "For you, I always think of your thing." This truly is an amazing book, and I can't recommend it highly enough.

A funny little volume

A slight book, and maybe you can find 90% of the jokes online, but still quite a bit of fun. Oddly used English mostly from Asian countries, but with a few oddities that make me think that the Italians are rather different from the rest of us. Good for writers and other "word" people.