The Rules (Tm): Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right

by Sherrie Schneider, Ellen Fein, Sherrie Fein, Ellen; Schneider

Book Overview

You are a creature unlike any other (Rule #1)--that's why you need . . . The Rules. A simple set of dos and don'ts, The Rules will lead you to where you want to be: in a healthy, committed relationship. Unlike today's haphazard dating customs, The Rules recognizes certain facts of life. That men know what they want. That a man is either attracted to you--or not That men want a challenge, not an instant or easy victory. When you follow these commonsense...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0446518131
• ISBN13: 9780446518130
• Release Date: February 1995
• Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
• Length: 192 Pages
• Weight: 0.65 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.8" x 8.7"

Customer Reviews

Self respect and no more players

I just read this book and now I get it. I had a good (male) friend who was also a player. Even as a player I asked him advice on getting guys. He told me that you have to act like you don't give a f***. I didn't know what he was talking about. Now that I read this book I get it. Before this week as soon as I slept with a guy, called a guy, showed too much interest in a guy, the relationship was over. I did not understand it. I always thought that being agressive and obsessive is how to get what you want. Even watching Eddie Murphy's comedy I didn't understand half of it about the relationship part until I read this book. Now I get it. It's not about restrictions, but freedom. I recommend this book to every woman on the planet, but hope that none of them read it because I want all the guys to myself. (giggle)

A Modest Proposal

I can't think of a book that has raised more heated debates than this one, and it's about something as old as time itself : Love. Many women as well as men hated this book when it was published, throwing us back to an age of passive aggressive and defering to men. It is a little ironic these days, isn't it, that we are living in a world so contrary to what this book preaches. Women are the bread winners of their households, the divorce rate is higher than ever, and we're losing our gender identities. I see this book as A Modest Proposal, as penned by Jonathan Swift, a satrical proposal to end Irish peasent starvation by having more children to cook and eat. This is proving their point, to be passive and let the man chase you, to very extreme ends (an egg timer to time your calls, for example, to less than twenty minutes). It is a little unreasonable, but they were out to prove a point. The ultimate question is "Do they work?". And know what? It does. I've noticed that once the man is interested if you make it too easy for him he looses interest. They whole situation comes across as being a little prissy for today's woman, but look at it with a sense of humor. Jonathan Swift didn't really want the Irish peasents to eat their children, did he?

Good for some types of women!

Number one rule when you read The Rules! Remember, this book is not for all women. It's for women that call too much, who find themselves cussing-out a man in their head for not calling the next day (or even that same night), or just find themselves losing all sensibility. Of course, I am describing myself. I searched and searched the Self-Help section of a bookstore looking for a book that would fit my needs, that would help me to stop acting so desperate! I felt desperate, clingy, needy, like I was never going to be okay with myself. I heard about The Rules before, I heard it was trash and that it insults females. As a woman that can lift heavy objects, outsmart a man, change a tire, etc, I still found this book appealing to my feminine side. I can be aggressive, and I found that it doesn't work for me. I'll call (but usually, it's to get that date, so he'll ask me out...)and then by the third date, I've gone too far with the guy, made him lose interest, been too much of a buddy, and not a girl that he would like to date. This book has helped me to chill out. In fact, I just ended the conversation first with someone I really like, and I feel saner than I would have if I let him end the conversation. My arm actually shot-up into to the air in victory because I didn't feel like I was latching onto him. The point isn't whether or not I can seduce him, get him to fall in love with me, no, it's to help you remain that sane girl you usually are. The Rules have helped me to not like a "psycho-chick" and that's why they work. They teach us women, the ones who are beautiful, strong, funny, confident and secure(most of the time!) to stay that way....even around that man ties your tongue in double-knots!

Be very careful what you wish for- you just might get it!!

I was torn as to what rating to give this book. I finally decided on giving it a 5 because I asked myself this question: Does this book deliver on it's promises. After over a decade of experiences in both using and NOT using the RULES, the answer is unfortunately or fortunately (depending on your attitude on the subject) a resounding YES!!! Hence I gave it 5 stars. HOWEVER BE FORWARNED- Over a decade of doing the RULES (and sometimes not) has taught me that the techniques work too well in that you will attract men who don't deserve your attention AS WELL AS men who do. You see, the RULES works because it feeds on the male ego's attraction to competition and "winning". So yes- you will attract more men and get more attention, but this will not only include attention from the great guy who finds you interesting and intriging, it also includes the shmuck who's always up for a challenge and due to a hurt ego or repressed self esteem issues, needs to prove to himself that he can succeed at getting someone who's somewhat unnattainable. The difference is that when the great guy "catches" you he knows he's lucky to have caught you and wants to keep you all to himself. When the shmuck thinks he has caught you however, he feels he has proven to himself that he's cool and therefore no longer needs you. He didn't want you... He wanted what you represented. The winning trophy. Meanwhile all the other girls who were pining for him overtly, but he wouldn't pay any attention to them because after all - they definitely wanted him- end up being saved the trouble of knowing him in the first place. This happened to me a couple of times using the Rules. It actually ended up ok, because once I figured out what they were doing I began using the rules to manipulate them into giving me lots of money. You'd be AMAZED how easily it works just using what this book teaches you. A guy will do ANYTHING to prove to himself he's still got IT!! Even give you everything he has!! Since they didn't have a problem manipulating me into wasting my precious time I had NO problem manipulating them while dating other guys. But that's just me. Is that what YOU want? Probably not. And the truth is that while my anger made me feel justified at the time, I really am not proud of it now. What's interesting is that the techniques in the book are wonderful gifts for the nice guys, but end up only mere manipulation devices when used w/ the wrong guys. Only those with plenty of RULES experience would really understand what I mean by that, but basically when you follow the RULES the nice guy (the one you want) is attracted to an 'essance' of you that is coming through loud and clear while you live your life the way you want. Mr. Wrong is only attracted to the mere challenge and to the idea of "winning" you so before you know it he actually becomes like a puppet and you all of a sudden find yourself holding the strings while he dances for your approval in the hopes of his