5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great

by Terri L. Orbuch

Book Overview

What makes marriages last? What makes couples happy? Is it possible for a so-so marriage to become a great one? From Dr. Terri Orbuch, the renowned therapist and nationally recognized relationship... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0385342861
• ISBN13: 9780385342865
• Release Date: October 2009
• Publisher: Delacorte Press
• Length: 272 Pages
• Weight: 0.95 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.5" x 1.0" x 5.8"

Customer Reviews

Marriage doesn't have to be hard work!

Marriage doesn't have to be hard work! This is one of the first messages that popped out at me while reading Dr. Terri's fantastic new book on how to have a happy marriage. She sustains that hopeful, upbeat attitude throughout the book. If you're tired of the negative, tough-love relationship advisors from TV, you will love this book by one of America's most esteemed relationship researchers and marriage experts. I was impressed not just by the practical tips and senseible strategies, but by the fact that Dr. Terri bases all of her advice on findings from the landmark NIH-funded marriage study that's been ongoing for nearly 25 years. In other words, this is credible science backed up by years of researching and observing real married couples. I had a recent experience where I shared some of Dr. Terri's marriage tips with my book group ladies. They were riveted. For example, they were as surprised as I was by the finding that men need more compliments and small shows of attention than women do. (That's because women get lots of attention from people other than their spouses--girlfriends, family, even casual acquaintances, so they don't need as much from their husbands.) Men, on the other hand, experience real distress if they don't get this from their wives, and it can lead to marital unhappiness. So, I said to the ladies, tell your man he looks sexy in his jeans, or that he smells great, or that you love the way he smiles. WATCH WHAT HAPPENS! Could it really be that simple to make your marriage great? All I can say is, try it. It's like an instant happiness potion. Who knew it took so little? I also loved Dr. Terri's 10-Minute Rule (talk to your spouse every day for 10 minutes about anything other than the household, money, work, kids, or relationship). Tried that one with my partner too, to equally great results for both of us. We're still doing it! Don't worry, ladies. I shared with him some of the tips for making wives happy too. (Like, if you want to spark a wife's libido, take her away from the house. Studies show women are more aroused when they are in surroundings unrelated to household responsibilities like chores and kids.) He got so intrigued, he read the book too. Try the tips and exercises. Do the quizzes. Talk about it with your mate. Watch your sex life and your marriage return to the honeymoon phase. We've been together for 16 years and we're delirously happy--in a new, fresh sort of way. I just can't say enough about this guide to marital happiness. It should be on every married couple's bedside table.

Turn off the Dr Phil show and read this book instead!

Do you get your marriage advise from TV, the internet and magazines? Me too until I read this book and realized how much more effective it is to use real data and facts that pop psychology in your marriage. Thank you Terri for spending the last 20 years studying what makes marriages great, and thank you even more for sharing it with the rest of us! What a thoughtful anniversary gift, wedding present or jut because! I've given it as a gift to other couples, and have heard nothing but rave reviews from all of them.

A must read for all couples

A must read for all couples 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great is a must read for all couples. It is not only a well-written and easy to understand book but fun and interactive. The beauty of the book is that although it is based on a two decade long academic study of hundreds of couples, it doesn't read like an academic work at all! What better way to learn how to take your marriage from good to great than to hear what works for hundreds of other couples. What I liked most about this book is that the tips and strategies are not theoretical but based on real couples' experiences that seem practical, logical and fairly easy to implement. Even if the reader thinks his/her marriage is good the tips, strategies and exercises in the book can take your marriage from good to great. I am really glad I took the time to read this book.

This Book is GREAT!

My wife recently purchased this book and really enjoyed it. She said that she found it to be extremely informative and helped her to better understand how I think. Of course, when she recommended that I read it, I got nervous. I thought that she was implying that our relationship needed help. She assured me that this wasn't the case so I read the book and I am happy I did. This book is fascinating. My wife and I really enjoyed taking the quizzes together. I learned so many interesting things about her that I had never known before and we have been married for six years! I highly recommend this book to anyone in a relationship, not just married people. My wife and I now have a much better understanding of each other. And the tips in the book on how to "spice up" your relationship, they work!

Sage Advice for Enhancing Marriages

Orbuch's new book is filled with advice about concrete steps to take to enhance the quality of a marriage. Orbuch herself is a leader scholar of close relationships, being a university professor (Oakland University and University of Michigan), and having directed for over two decades the Early Years of Marriage Project begun in the 80s by the late Joe Veroff. She is a distinguished researcher, therapist, teacher, and national media personality (known as "The Love Doctor" on her syndicated radio show). So she knows this subject matter very well, and in this book presents her knowledge in an extremely lucid and compelling manner. The book is made more credible by the judicious use of reports of relevant research (many of which are thoughtfully set off in boxes from the text). Central to the lessons taught in this book is that every little act counts in a marriage. The reader learns to be more aware and to appreciate the dynamics of closeness that are on display in almost every marital situation. The reader learns about the importance of routinized acts (such as a short getting to know your partner) each and every day. The book is a well-written,-edited read and is so engrossing and challenging (can all these marriages really be saved?) that it could be read in one evening. Overall, what one comes away with from reading this book is the author's abiding hope, passion, and desire to understand the processes that affect long-term closeness in relationships. Orbuch strongly communicates these qualities and in so doing tells a number of interesting, instructive stories about persons whom she and her colleagues have interviewed, and even about events in her own marriage of almost twenty years. Early on, she notes her position that most marriages can be preserved and made better. However, she points to a reasonable caveat that marriages involving significant physical or emotional abuse are likely beyond the purview of this book, and that persons in such situations should seek professional help. True to her over-arching optimism, even in such situations, she suggests a person can have hope and deserves to find happiness in a close relationship. As a teacher in this area for over three decades, I wish that this book had been available long ago to recommend to the countless students asking for a reader friendly primer to give to their partner, parents, or friends. It is a book that would be a wonderful book for a book club to use and debate. I doubt that readers will agree with all of Orbuch's major points. For example, one could approach this topic by arguing that there likely are types of marriages other than those involving abuse in which the partners need to recognize that there isn't hope to continue. Possibly the partners were so ill-suited personality-wise, or otherwise, from the outset that reconstructing the marriage is a super-human task. Perhaps they are too ravaged by a trauma such as the loss of a child that there just isn't a way t