The Average American Male: A Novel

With my wife out of town for the weekend, I couldn't think of a better book to consume me in my "down" time. In fact, if anything, "The Average American Male: A Novel" made me feel a bit guilty because I too am "average" in my experiences. Call it a cathartic experience, but I laughed out loud through nearly every chapter. And as every "Average American Male" knows, we've all experienced the lead character's life in some way or another. The story line was sexy, thoughtful, erotic, humorous and frankly...quite delightful. The author - Chad Kultgen - could be the next Nicholas Baker.

This is one of the most origninal and beautifully written books I've ever read. No woman should read it unless they are interested in how the male mind works (and as we learn from this book, most women are not). What astounded me was the realization that the concept of such a book, although obvious to the extreme, had not been previously attempted. I laughed, I pondered, and, finally, I understood. Bravo Chad. A genuine contribution to socially-incorrect literature. I loved it!

This is one brilliant book. Its spirit recalls Aristophanes, who, in "Lysistrata," ridiculed ancient Athenian men because they were apparently obsessed with something silly, war, but in fact devoted to something even more ludicrous, sex. We post-moderns are still sentimental about sex; Aristophanes and Kultgen aren't.

Kultgen, like his Greek predecessor, sees that Aphrodite in particular often has one big satiric smirk on her face. His unnamed hero wages a species of war when he plays competitive video games, but he lives more for sex 24/7, even though his comically grotesque desires inevitably result, as experience has always taught, in necessarily diminished rewards.

Kultgen, happily, is an equal opportunity offender. Not only does his witty, knavish hero come in for a finally satirical drubbing, but so do the other serial polygamist characters, who include a variety of contemporary straight men and women, along with assorted gays and lesbians. All of them lead hilariously limited lives, for none of them is able to raise his or her head above the belts of the nation. This book is less the send-up of modern feminism some reviewers have indicated than it is a send-up of the low, finally empty values of all the characters.

The hero lives in a narrow world that has, he sadly recognizes at the end, "no escape." Kultgen, as I read him, is gently suggesting the comic emptiness of the world view that all his younger characters share. The only positive value in their world is "bluntness," a trait distinguishing both the narrator and his paramour Alyna. Certainly, such bluntness is preferable to the whiny manipulativeness of the vulgarly too eager-to-marry Casey and her horrible family. At the same time, the narrator and the more sophisticated Alyna are merely just a boy-man and a girl-woman. They are, Kultgen slyly intimates, nevertheless the finest products of modern American child-raising.

Years ago, Dostoevsky in "Notes From Underground," said of his central character that "such persons as the writer of these notes not only may but must exist in our society, taking into consideration the circumstances under which our society has generally been formed." Kultgen is asking his readers to look at the stunted, even if witty, men and women in his novel and contemplate what comic monsters we "caring" American parents have inadvertently wrought.

Relentlessly cynical and f***ing funny. One of Kultgen's accomplishments is that he has created a tale that has a crunchy, amusing coating, a creamy, despair-filled center, and is topped with a fine drizzle of uncomfortable truth. You may not see yourself as the Average American Male, but no heterosexual man can deny having had at least some of the same thoughts cross his mind. Some reviewers have complained that the character in the book is one-dimensional and does not really represent the average American male. Sorry, but most men are narcissistic, sex-obsessed s***-bags. I would know. In an case, pretty much ALL the characters are sexual caricatures. The total focus on sexual relations is the point. Some reviewers have found this book to be crude and mean-spirited. And yest, it definitely is both those things. But, what drives the book is an underlying sense of despair and emptiness in the main character's life - his existence has been boiled down to the pursuit of sex and playing video games. With nothing to care about except "blowing a load," the Average American Male is doomed to boredom and dissatisfaction. This is not only a commentary on sexual relations, but the emptiness of American culture in which Sex and Money is the national religion.


Long story short: this is not a pleasant tale. But there are moments that will make you laugh at loud, and it will make you think about what it means to try to find love and fulfillment in these modern times.

Being a 20-something guy, this book had me cracking up. (Nod to other reviewers: yes, there is more to males. But not much.) Even though the conversations are more simplistic, the sex is over the top and the emotional dryness of the character is exaggerated, "The Average American Male" hits the basic thoughts and motivations of every young male, especially those who are part of the generation of internet porn and Xbox. It makes you laugh because it's true, the same way "Everybody Loves Raymond" does for any married couple. I especially like when he describes trying to come up with the best strategy to turning every conversation with his girlfriend into sex - it's dead-on. This isn't a book you can sink your teeth into, but it's a great Saturday afternoon distraction when there's no Family Guy on and you're tired of playing Halo.