The Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading

by Andy Borowitz

Book Overview

When Getting Rich Quick Just Isn't Fast Enough Many day trading books on the market today contain dubious advice, but never before has there been a book guaranteed to contain 100 percent dubious advice--until now.

The Trillionaire Next Door is that book. Inside you'll find: The rock-solid, scientific principles of day trading explained in language so clear and concise it's almost insulting A glossary of key economic terms for the day trader, like...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0066620767
• ISBN13: 9780066620763
• Release Date: May 2000
• Publisher: Harper Business
• Length: 112 Pages
• Weight: 0.55 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.3" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

Brilliant satire from a very funny writer

When one of my friends told me that this was the funniest book he'd ever read, I was skeptical, but I bought it anyway. When I kept my wife up half the night as I read the book in bed, laughing like a fiend, I had to admit he was right. Andy Borowitz, a laugh-out-loud writer whose work I'd seen in The New Yorker, has taken as his target our current obsession with money, the stock market, and instant wealth -- and he's hit a satirical bullseye. From the hysterical charts (How Day Trading Works: Buy Stock--Visit Sex Sites--Sell Stock--Become Trillionaire) to the ludicrous "Hot Stock Tips" (...a personal favorite of mine) to the "first person" accounts of Mountain Dew-swigging, Maria Bartiromo-obsessed, bathrobe-clad daytraders, Borowitz doesn't take any prisoners in this book. For the record, my favorite humor writers are Steve Martin, Dave Barry, and David Sedaris. After reading this screamingly funny book, you'd have to put Andy Borowitz up there, too.

A great investment!

The best investment advice you can get is to buy this book and read it instead of worrying about all those 16-year-olds whose stock options are worth more than the GNP of Portugal. It's hard to be funnier than the real traders, with their theories based on random walks, dartboards, hemlines, and the World Series, and it's even harder to be funnier than watching people lose money on flyer stocks with cute names like boo.com and Crazy Eddie, but this book makes it and then some, with completely hilarious discussions of making a stock go up by yelling at the screen, getting good investment advice (and a Big Gulp) at the 7-11, finding the right asset allocation model (don't forget the importance of lotto and combing the beach with a metal detector), and the crucial role of pizza in a day-trader's diet. The comparison of Adam Smith and Willow Bay, the description of Warren Buffet, "the myth of knowing what a company does," and some really wonderful graphs and charts are not only wildly funny, but .... amazingly insightful. This book is right on the money.

If it sounds too good to be true--go for it!

If you want to make someone happy, give them this book. The distilled yet rapid-fire wisdom Borowitz offers will be handed down for generations to come: How to trade in your sleep, how to understand the insider lingo that fancy Wall St. people use to exclude regular people, how to use a dartboard to pick stocks, why it's best not to know what the companies you invest in actually do....I've made gifts of this book to financiers and regular human beings and they all find it sidesplitting. Given the direction the market seems to be going, we all need a good laugh, and this is it. The book comes with upgrades: I logged onto [their] site and have been delighted to get breaking news bulletins about Greenspan's magic coin, Bill Gates' gift of a clock radio to the Department of Justice, etc.

I loved the book and I am an actual millionaire.

This book is really hilarious. Let me tell you the funniest jokes in it: Page 1: lines 3, 11, and 47; Page 2: lines 1, 9, and 33; Page 3: lines 14, 27, 39... oh hell, just buy your own copy.

HILARIOUS!

I've always admired Andy Borowitz's writing in The New Yorker, but I wondered how funny could Andy be about the stock market? Trust me, it's hilarious. Timely, witty and very fresh -- it's the kind of book that makes you want to read parts of it aloud to your friends, even if they're really, really busy and beg you not to. This is the perfect summer read -- and it would make a great Father's Day gift.