The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

by Michael P. Nichols and Martha B Straus

Book Overview

"That isn't what I meant!" Truly listening and being heard is far from simple, even between people who care about each other. This perennial bestseller--now revised and updated for the digital... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1593859864
• ISBN13: 9781593859862
• Release Date: February 2009
• Publisher: Guilford Publications
• Length: 313 Pages
• Weight: 1.70 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 6.1" x 9.1"

Customer Reviews

The Missing Piece..........

If you've ever felt that something was missing from some conversations but couldn't pinpoint exactly what - this book might be eye (and ear) opening for you. I'd like to carry this book around with me for constant reminders on how to be a better listener! Easy to read with plenty of examples.

A Practical, Result Oriented Approach

When my wife left me, instead of telling me there was another guy, she was grasping at straws when she blurted out, "You never listen to me." She didn't have the guts to tell me there was someone else, so I thought this was something I could fix. Lost Art was one of many books I bought in an effort to "fix" myself and save my marriage. Of the books I purchased about listening, this book was the only one worth what I paid for it. There are some really terrible books out there on this subject. Part two of my story..... My father was a man of few words......especially over the phone. When I read Lost Art, I finally understood the "dynamic" between him and I. Phone conversations which used to last a minute or two were now lasting thirty minutes. One conversation we had was about an hour long and at the end of it, he told me that he loved me (which is a big deal in my family). A month later, my father went into intensive care. Three months after that he passed away. I'm so happy that we had those conversations because I don't feel like we left anything unsaid between us. As for my marriage, it's over. However, my soon to be ex and I get along very well. I won't say that we are good friends because that would be a lie. But I do beleive we are getting along a lot better than we would have if I had never read this book. I don't believe she left me because of my lack of listening skills, but I do believe that we are getting along so well because of these new skills.

How to get closer to the ones you love.

I picked up The Lost Art of Listening immediately after reading Love and Survival. Those two books, in that order, were the perfect one-two punch. In Love and Survival, I learned how important it is to be close to people. Closeness has an enormous impact on your heatlh. And greater closeness makes people happier.So I realized how important closeness is, but then I realized I didn't really know HOW to get closer to people. I know how to get along with people and how to make them feel good about themselves and how to get them to like me, but I didn't know how to really become close to people, and I had never thought about it. Love and Survival gave some good pointers, but The Lost Art of Listening goes all the way. This isn't a book about business negotiation or anything like that. It's about how to reach that wonderful state of being intimate with someone, really knowing them and being open to them. Listening is the key. Nichols covers the subject very well with lots of good examples and good humor too. And the book is very practical. When you're done, you'll know what to do to become a better listener. You'll know how to become closer to the people you love. I've been putting the suggestions into practice and I'm definitely closer to my friends and family, and happier too. My wife has noticed the change in me (it has been pretty dramatic) and said she didn't know our relationship could be like this. She's ecstatic about it and it's great to see her so happy. Listening well isn't really that difficult, but there's an art to it, which you learn all about in the book. I'm the author of the book, Self-Help Stuff That Works, and Nichols' book qualifies: This is listening-coaching that really works.

An invaluable tool for communication.

This book showed me not only how to listen to others but also how to communicate with others. I learned from this book about myself and how I communicate. Since reading this book and discussing it with others, I feel I can understand my family, friends, and neighbors or at least have the tools to be an effective listener to them. I would (and have) recommend this book to any and all people. It is a book that is easy enough for almost anyone to understand and, I strongly believe, can only enhance all relationships of any kind.