Strangers Tribe

by Gabrielle Glaser

Joshua Steinberg wears his Jewish identity proudly. His Catholic wife, Maura Fitzsimmons, is strongly attached to her Irish roots. For years, Josh's parents referred to Maura only as "the Catholic."... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0395727766
• ISBN13: 9780395727768
• Release Date: January 1997
• Publisher: Houghton Mifflin
• Length: 265 Pages
• Weight: 1.05 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.1" x 5.9" x 8.6"

Customer Reviews

Interesting stories of the children of interfaith marriages

This book is really unique and interesting because, of the stories included, not all of them are the standard stories of interfaith marriage, with the kids being raised exclusively Jewish. Some of the non-Jewish partners have converted, some haven't. One couple even were raising their daughter Catholic (the mom's faith) and their son Jewish (the dad's religion), which is a really unusual approach (and not one that should be recommended; it was obvious that the couple were having problems sticking to this out-of-the-ordinary system). I also liked the story of the Hawaiian couple, with the Chinese father and the Jewish mother (who had had problems conceiving their two kids), who were celebrating their daughter's bat mitzvah. You don't hear too much about the Jews of Hawaii; it's very rare to find someone in Hawaii who is a haole (Caucausian) instead of Native Hawaiian, Chinese, Japanese, or some mix of the various races that live on or have immigrated to Hawaii. The story of the Japanese mother and Jewish father was also nice; rarely in a collection of stories like this do you see accounts of the Jewish partner marrying someone who isn't White and Christian. For me the saddest story was the Jewish man who had converted to Lutheranism and was raising his kids as Lutherans. With such a huge rate of intermarriage and assimilation, it's always sad to see someone converting away, denying their ancestry, and contributing even further to the dwindling American Jewish population. (Although according to Jewish law one is considered an apostate, since according to halacha one cannot convert out of Judaism.) The story of how the author rediscovered her family's Jewish roots and underwent her own conversion was also a high point of those unique collection of stories.

Informing, Interesting and Entertaining

A realistic portrait of the struggle between love, family and religion. If you are looking for an in-depth account of how various couples have dealt with these intermingled issues, this is the book for you. Glaser, a dedicated journalist, tells her own story, and unbiasedly offers the reader several glimpses at how others have struggled with clashing beliefs. It is richly written, frank, and interesting. It is not, however, a "how-to" manual and one should approach each case with an open mind---as this author had intended for her audience.

a great and insightful read

This book was given to me as a present, and reading it was a real treat. Everyone knows choosing a lifelong mate is a complex, sometimes difficult process with grim testament to failure...a divorce rate of fifty percent. Further complicate things by narrowing the focus to Jews who choose to marry out of their faith in a time when the rate of intermarriage has cast panic into the Jewish community's elders. According to Glaser, The National Jewish Population Survey in 1990 found that 52 percent of Jews who married since 1985 had chosen a Gentile mate. Of these marriages, only 28 percent were raising their children as Jews. With the "Silent Holocaust" as background specter, intermarriage in the Jewish community is the subject of Strangers to the Tribe.The author sensitively wades into this emotionally charged subject with compassion and great journalistic skill. The book opens with Glaser's personal story, discovering her Jewish roots while on assignment in Poland during the fall of communism and the eruption of nationalism. This experience set the process in motion of her own conversion to Judaism, a journey that took amongst other things, four years and the writing of this book to complete.No matter what religion a person ascribes to, in marriage one looks to their parents for examples, what they did right, what they did wrong. When marrying a person radically different than their parents, there is usually trouble, either internally or externally. The ramifications of guilt, anger, ostracism, and loneliness are carefully explored with the eleven couples Glaser interviews. However, along with the negative aspects of intermarriage, this book provides an antidote. The reader learns how each couple blends their own personality and traditions in order to be comfortable with their lives. In the process we discover much about the nature of love, happiness, identity, tradition, and ultimately healthy separateness. All this before tackling the issue of what religion to raise the children!It is this issue that is the most difficult. I can't help but feel Glaser's sentiment that two religions can be confusing for a child. However, with journalistic skill the author explores this problem and the reader is left to draw their own conclusions about what is best for the children: choosing one faith, raising one child Jewish and another child in a different religion, or giving the children instruction in both religions.I felt that reading this book gave me a bit of relief. I found solace from Glaser's interviews. Knowing there are other people having the same struggles and discovering how they are coping is a welcome tonic. I encountered sadness, but also sage advise, humor and joy. Most of all, I found beauty in the complex weave of human relationship and thought-provoking insights into the meaning of the word "love."

A powerful, beautifully written exploration of intermarriage

I bought "Strangers to the Tribe" to give as a gift, but after a quick peek, couldn't put it down. I quickly cast aside the Pulitzer Prize-winning memoir by Katharine Graham that I was reading, in favor of Gabrielle Glaser's elegant and purposeful prose. I was riveted by the characters she chose and their personal stories. Glaser's sense of detail is rich, and as she tells story after story of intermarriage, she is balanced, insightful and sheds new light on just what role religion plays in our uniquely American culture, a juggling act between the rational value of freedom of choice that we all possess, and the more emotional aspects of genealogy, historical memory, and destiny.I was particularly touched by Glaser's own sweet story of re-embracing Judaism. After many decades of intermarriage in her family, Glaser marries a Jew, and formally becomes a Jew, a heritage which she shares with her children. As a Jew myself, whose extended family has been wrought by intermarriage, a smile came to my face. I like to think of it as a kind of Jewish karma. But Glaser's story is not a blueprint for how it should be. It happens to be her story. When it comes to the others, she's pure journalist. "Strangers" is a great book for anyone, in any religion, about to embark on a journey of religious self-exploration, and should be required reading for anyone whose loved one marries or chooses to become a member of another religion. Filled with historical, sociological and religious fact, the reader will learn a lot, but perhaps more importantly, be imbued with a sense of humanity.

The best I've read on the subject of intermarriage.

This is the single best book (of many) I've read on the complex subject of intermarriage. I've given this book to several young couples as they embark on the interfaith journey and it's been well received. In addition, as a "success story" with fifteen years of interfaith marriage under my belt, I also found it illuminating and comforting. It's a great book my husband and I both enjoyed and learned from.