Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity

by Lauren F. Winner

Book Overview

SEX. Splashed across magazine covers, billboards, and computer screens--sex is casual, aggressive, and absolutely everywhere. And everybody's doing it, right?In Real Sex , heralded young author Lauren... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 158743069X
• ISBN13: 9781587430695
• Release Date: April 2005
• Publisher: Brazos Press
• Length: 175 Pages
• Weight: 0.80 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 6.0" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

Generation Chaste?

I had a Spanish roommate in seminary that chided Americans for being too uptight when it comes to sex. The Christian book market is a prime example of this shortcoming. I've grown weary of books that are little more than Scripture passages and "scared straight" stories about the dire consequences of moral failure. But "Real Sex - The Naked Truth About Chastity" is a welcome exception to that trend. It acknowledges the fact that sensual sin tends to feel good, which is why so many partake in it. No, the author doesn't blow off the Bible or advocate immorality. What Ms. Winner does is illustrate the truths behind the Biblical passages concerning chastity in a scholarly and thoughtful way. She has a very adult (i.e. mature) take on the subject, although teens would benefit in a preventative and proactive sense from Ms. Winner's insights. Based on her writing style and literary references, Ms. Winner is obviously an intelligent and well-educated Christian woman. She's not a super-functional guru in the cult of virginity who is so heavenly minded that she's no earthly good. Instead, she is refreshingly honest about her weaknesses, including her brushes with fornication during her BC days and as a new believer. However, she doesn't try to whitewash or justify her failings, nor does she engage in self-flagellation. Instead, Ms. Winner evaluates her actions (and subsequent growth) within a Biblically based context. She does a much better job defending the Scriptural ideal of chastity via her thoughtful approach than the shock and awe crowd does with their "God says it; that settles it" attitude. That doesn't mean Ms Winner forsakes the authority of the Bible. Instead, she expands on the reasons why God would decree that fornication and adultery are sin, and why chastity is a spiritual discipline, much like fasting and prayer. For example, adultery damages the family, which is the foundation of any community. In addition, it creates disharmony in the larger community due to broken friendships and mistrust. In contrast, practicing chastity benefits the community by strengthening trust and grounding relationships in love and respect. This kind of reasoning shows the universal truths that Scripture contains, thus demonstrating it's relevance for us today. Also, I appreciated her defense of singleness and celibacy, especially using Christ's life as an example. As one who is still unmarried in his late thirties, I've felt more and more marginalized by the typical family-oriented church. Ms. Winner brings this problem out of the shadows and confronts the church to appreciate its singles and tap their potential instead of shunting them off into singles' groups. There are a couple spots where Ms. Winner's reasoning was a bit too academic for my taste (understandable, since she's working on her Ph. D. in American religious history at Columbia). In addition, I would have liked her to deal with chastity as it relates to homosexuality. But

A great writer for our generation...

I really enjoyed her insightfulness into human sexuality. I really like how she ADMITTED that sexual relations outside of marriage DO feel good and frankly, its difficult to think of the consequences in that moment. Especially when the moment has passed and there doesn't appear to be any. I liked how she dispelled the myth of "this will haunt you forever if you do it". Her approach to a WHOLE self, instead of compartmentalizing human beings was very refreshing. I also like her saying that females have no libidos is a load, making women asexual creatures is ridiculous. The True Loves Waits campaign only did so much. I wish this had been around when I was struggling as a single. I remember telling myself, "it is really hard to think I am waiting until I am married, when I have NO IDEA when or IF that will ever be, so I must take it one day at a time." Chastity is a spiritual discipline, and probably one of the more difficult ones. But I didn't think of it as a spiritual discipline, nor did I seek community accountability. It was very difficult.I still think, as a married person, she offers good insight into what sex is about.

A much-needed book

This is a breath of fresh air for Christians trying to come to terms with sex and singleness. Winner does not rehearse the stale and ineffective arguments we have heard for years (abstinence is the only 100% effective birth control, you don't want STDs, sex feels better when you're married, etc.). Instead, she honestly and bluntly examines chastity from the standpoint of a Christian community. Writing as one who has had premarital sex, Winner brings a sense of honesty to her writing. She is not afraid to deal with the myths, lies, and truths about premarital sex. In the end, she treats sex theologically, within the story of God that is embodied in the church. This book is intended for single adults who are struggling with chastity. As a youth director, I thought about sharing this book with my high school students. Many of them are dealing with the same issues and need a book like this one. I would not share this book with middle school students as a group. The discussion is too mature for most 13 year-olds I know. If you are a single Christian this book is for you. If you are a married Christian in a church with single Christians, this book is for you. If you want to understand why Christians remain chaste outside of marriage, this book is definately for you.

A book on Christianity and sexuality that makes sense...

...to grown-ups living in a complicated and sexualized culture! To be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect when I picked up this book. I have probably read 8-10 different books about Chrisitan chastity, waiting till marriage, and so forth; this book has been hyped as different, but I was suspicious. But it was different! Here's why I loved this book: 1) Lauren isn't naive. She discusses sex frankly and doesn't pretend that her audience lives in a cave. 2) She is very generous, and talks generously and frankly about forgiveness and a slow conversion to chastity, even for those of us who have alread had sex. 3) She sometimes uses three syllable words. It really is a great book--more challenging, and yet more loving, than most of those other 8-10 I've read...I've bought two more copies to give to friends!