My Mother, My Mirror: Recognizing and Making the Most of Inherited Self-Images

by Laura Arens Fuerstein and Laura Arens

Book Overview

As you were growing up, your mother's self-image likely impacted your own in many conscious and unconscious ways. Perhaps those things your mother disliked about herself-her looks, her lack of... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1572245697
• ISBN13: 9781572245693
• Release Date: April 2009
• Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
• Length: 232 Pages
• Weight: 0.75 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 6.1" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

an engaging, yet rich, read

My experience with psychological books for non-clinicians cause me to compare them to an ice cream cone. While useful, they typically are quite basic, easy reads--quick recipes for improvement. Dr. Fuerstein's book, however, is like a rich dessert--many layers and flavors. While her focus is complicated enough for clinicians, her topic and style is accessible for those non-psych readers interested in the human condition. Her writing is broad and engaging; she integrates examples from literature to enhance her message which is more complex, and useful, than most books on the market. As an English teacher, I found her writing to be amazing. For those interested in the mother-daughter relationship, this is a book to read and keep!

an excellent read

There are many complimentary words that could be said about reading this warm and well written book about the complex relationship between mother and daughter. Indeed, much has already been written on this subject but Dr. Fuerstein's book is original in the sense that it focuses on the daughter's image of the mother in her mind. The most meaningful concept for me was her bringing to light the idea of understanding one's mother at the time SHE first became a mother, the mother of our infancy and early childhood, not the mother we know in our adult life, and how this early relationship as a young woman to a new baby shaped our self image and self esteem. This insight allows for a compassionate view of both mother and daughter and a deeper understanding of how this early relationship impacts on our present functioning. Dr. Fuerstein writes in a clear, often moving, and jargon-free way that is illuminating and helpful, providing not only insight but concrete ideas and tools to integrate these insights into everyday life. From a loved and loving daughter and mother

Also for those who've been in therapy --

This deeply insightful book has a lot to offer even for those, like myself, who have been in therapy and thought that self-help books were not for you! The author's amazingly clear and human (and humane) presentation of what are usually very complex and impenetrable psychoanalytic ideas about core relationships gave me new insights into my relationship with my mother (long passed away) and even my sisters -- and got me re-thinking facets of my relationships that I thought I had fully explored. I highly recommend this book as important even if your are in therapy already -- or have been. Ruth's daughter.

Review by Jack Schwartz Psychotherapist-- Key resource and significant contribution regarding self e

Every so often a book emerges that opens our eyes to the greater truth of the human condition. Dr. Laura Arens Fuerstein's My Mother, My Mirror is one of those books. I am reminded of the classic Necessary Losses, by Judith Viorst, in which Dr. Fuerstein weaves her own journey and exploration of the mother- daughter relationship with that of her patient's struggles and its connection to art, and literature and through biographies of many well known women. As a practicing psychoanalytic psychotherapist and step-father to two beautiful daughters, I am regularly seeking useful and illuminating information to help raise my awareness and empathy for the struggles that women face. Dr. Fuerstein succeeds on all accounts in providing the fundamental template that both defines the age old dilemma (conscious and unconscious) of self esteem, body image and establishing a sense of individuality. But, Dr. Fuerstein, a master teacher and clinician in her own right, does not stop at just identifying the issues, but offers clear remedies to proactively address these concerns in way that will prove both effective for the lay person looking for help as well as the clinician looking to enhance their treatment strategies. Dr. Fuerstein has found a potent and powerful metaphor in the Carnival Fun House mirror, which she uses throughout the book, as a means to convey the profound distortions that are transferred from one generation of women to the other, in a continuous cycle of dysfunctional attachments. In addition to the careful and often heartfelt analysis of the influence of her mother's self-image on her own self image, she sensitively integrates many of her patients' Grandmother- Mother- Daughter conflicts into the greater theme of how negative self identity is handed down through the generations, further deepening the understanding of the impact of this legacy of distortion in an effort to once and for all free the next generation from the curse of poor self-body/self-mind image. This book will undoubtedly become one of the key resources for women with these concerns and for the clinician looking to gain a clear and workable insight into this damaging dynamic. A necessary and important contribution and resource, for both men and women, in the understanding of one of the key dysfunctional paradigms that belie many women's issues and the powerful hold of maternal child relationship. Bravo.

Book Clubs have I got a book for you!

Talk about a rich source of insight and topics for discussion - this book is the MOTHER-lode. From dazzling examples of the dynamics between well-known mother-daughters (Judy Garland and Liza Minnelli; Princess Diana and her mother; Jackie Kennedy; Margaret Meade) to the thought-provoking questions at the end of each chapter - it's impossible not to be caught up in this challenging-yet-highly-accessible (and wildly personal) book. Fuerstein writes from the heart with clarity and kindness. Read this. Then buy your mother a copy. Then sit down together and make a pot of coffee.