It's Not Him, It's You: The Truth You May Not Want - but Need - to Hear

by Christie Hartman

From the Introduction: This book is research-based--and what the research shows is this: The real problem isn't dating, or men. The problem is that during the early stages of dating, women unknowingly... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1440501629
• Release Date: April 2010
• Publisher: Adams Media
• Length: 256 Pages
• Weight: 0.05 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.4" x 1.1" x 5.5"

Customer Reviews

Pearls of Wisdom...For Dating at Any Age!

Scattered throughout the book, It's Not Him, It's You! are pearls of wisdom from Dr. Christie Hartman's personal research - research that includes, among other things, first-hand accounts of her dating perils in an ever-changing yet timeless dating world. Geared toward a female audience, Dr. Hartman's book has a catchy title that compels women to further investigate the mysteries of the relationship world and the roles women play in it. Despite the catchy title, Dr. Hartman does a good job of presenting a healthy balance between men's and women's roles in relationships. According to Dr. Hartman, "During the early stages of dating, women make one or more fundamental mistakes that hinder their ability to date successfully and find the man of their dreams." The chapters of the book are represented by Dr. Hartman's articulation of the "Top 10 Mistakes". As Dr. Hartman points out, "Success in dating, like success in any area of your life, comes from identifying your weak spots and working to improve them. It's about knowing what you want and not giving up until you find it." Without question, this is true for men and women (Dr. Hartman just knows that women are more likely than men to read a book about relationships!). As the owner of Premier Connections: Denver's Premier Matchmaking Alternative [...], I enjoyed reading Dr. Hartman's book and believe that her research will shed light for many women currently navigating the dating scene. Without commenting on every chapter, some highlights include: Mistake #1 - You Think Men Have a Clue: As Dr. Hartman explains, "The fact is that most men don't have a clue so this automatically gives women a leg up." This perspective, along with several examples to reflect upon, offers women the chance to re-examine their pre-conceived ideas about relationships and perhaps begin to view their next relationship thru a new set of glasses. So, why do women have the advantage over men in the dating world? Quite possibly it's for no other reason than because men think women have the power (it's the whole "perception is reality" thing). Dr. Hartman's research reveals that most men want a good woman in their lives but they don't always know how to make that happen. So, ladies, take this pearl of wisdom and (using empathy and compassion) surreptitiously work it in to your dating life and see what happens! Mistake #3 - You Think Rejection is About You: As Dr. Hartman explains in Mistake #3, there are two ways women handle rejection: 1) those who accept that it wasn't meant to be; 2) those who don't. Regardless of how much you like a man, if he doesn't feel the same way about you (for whatever reason), you're not right for each other...period! Any refusal (or delay) on your part to accept that truth compromises the care of your most precious gift: Yourself. Rejection isn't about YOU...it's about the two C's (chemistry and compatibility), neither of which a man (or a woman, for that matter) really has con

Fantastic Book!

This book is great and very refreshing. Finally someone calls women out. We love to blame men, but it takes two. Unfortunately most times than none it is just us! We like to over analyze, read things into what men say or don't say and don't listen/want to hear what men are actually saying. Christie gives us practical tips to help us keeps our heads straight. I have put all the tips into good use this summer and have met some awesome guys. A few are friends, a few I can see more developing over time. It helps that I don't search for the "one". I simply am open to what comes along and enjoying the journey. Thanks Christie for putting it all in perspective!!

Practical help for the single ladies

This book is great because it calls us women out on the carpet! I am tired of reading relationship books that bash men place all the blame on one side. Lets face it, it takes two people to make a relationship work and Dr. Hartman gives pratical, research based advice to make it happen. I enjoyed reading the information from a man's perspective because ultimately I want to end up dating one. I had fun putting her advice into practice and learned a great deal about myself in the process. I am having my two two teenage daughters read it next so they can learn how to see things from both sides and see potentially harmful relationship patterns.

5 STARS!

This book was suggested to me by a friend of mine on Facebook-it's funny because I didn't actually think I would go out and buy it, I was just gonna read it at the bookstore or library and take it back...I'm glad I didn't! Something about Mistake #8: Ignoring Red Flags was very compelling to me; at the time I was really bad about enforcing my boundaries and through reading this book, I have done better with knowing when to kick an uninterested man to the curb, what it really means when a guy only emails/texts you and how often, common courtesy, how helpful your girlfriend's advice really is, what signals to give off to a guy and why you should pick the guys you want instead of settling for the ones who choose you. I know people may think it's just another dating and relationship book-trust me Dr. Hartman is instrumental in this book and I plan on keeping this one on my shelf! Read it for yourselves, I can guarantee you will like it-gives some great insight into the dating scene and what really matters in finding yourself and ultimately the right one for you-thanks Christie!

Best dating book!

This is one of the best dating books I've ever read. As a single woman, I am always on the lookout for good dating advice. There are a lot of dating books out there, but most of them aren't even worth reading. Christie Hartman's book is an exception. She's a psychologist and a researcher, and has done a lot of research on dating. Her book, which talks about women's Top 10 dating mistakes, is hard-hitting and research-based, yet supportive and easy to read. I particularly loved Mistake #7 "You let him choose you" and Mistake #6 "You think you need to be a supermodel." She pokes holes in a lot of the myths and ideas we women are taught about men, and shows women how to succeed at dating. If you're single, you must read this book!