It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt

Book Overview

There's no doubt about it-breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there's one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can't and shouldn't be fixed,... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0767921968
• Release Date: September 2006
• Publisher: Harmony
• Length: 288 Pages
• Weight: 0.50 lbs.
• Dimensions: 7.9" x 0.6" x 5.2"

Customer Reviews

Really helped me during a hard time

I'm usually skeptical when it comes to self help books. But this book reminds me of a best friend that doesn't sugar coat anything. It's honest and funny at the same time. I laughed and honestly I cried because I realized all the bad things I piled on myself. After reading this book (which I read in 12hrs!) I felt like there is hope for me after all. Being heartbroken doesn't define who I am as a person, I am still a person after the breakup and I will move on and be happy. It definitely gives me hope for my future and I am thankful for the authors for being real with us and not just giving us proverbs and sugar coated advice. I would definitely recommend purchasing this book! Good luck girl!

Great guide for those ready to move on after a breakup

I am a psychologist working at a college counseling center, and I have recommended this book to several of my clients who have experienced a relationship breakup. However, because the tone of this book is very lighthearted, almost irreverent, I've been selective in my recommendations. The authors--a husband and wife team who talk freely about their own past breakups--infuse plenty of humor into their work. There can be a thin line between being funny and empowering versus funny and belittling, and I do believe the authors fall well on the side of the former, but still, I'd recommend this book mainly for those who are READY to move on after a breakup but just are not sure how to do so. The book has two main parts: "The Breakup," which centers around coming to terms with the reality that the relationship is truly over, and "The Breakover," which focuses on coping with this new reality. The chapters contain a wealth of helpful information, from personal stories by the authors to simple exercises and questionnaires to occasional recipes (I plan to try the "Crack Brownies" soon!). The second part of the book focuses on "Breakup Commandments" and contains a special chapter for men called "Dude, Get Off Her Long." On the whole, however, this book is mainly geared towards empowering women who have been dumped, with the authors frequently using endearments designed to give a much-needed self-esteem boost (including calling the reader "Superfox," "Pretty Lady," and "Hot Stuff"). Overall, the main point of this book is that the breakups are like a serious illness which is undeniably painful yet completely curable. With empathy, wisdom, and wit, the authors provide plenty of hope that you can pass through the destruction and devastation left by your broken relationship and embrace the wonderful new life waiting for you.

Wake up girl!

I read this book in the midst of a train wreck break-up that dragged on and on for around four months. I am an intelligent woman with a few years of experience under my belt and a healthy dose of cynicism about the opposite sex but as Amiira says in the book "He was my kryptonite." I went against every instinct and every bit of logic just to hang onto this jackass a little longer so he could continue to string me along and jerk me around as he saw fit. After I moved out of his house, he was still in and out of my bed, doing the famed drunk dial on a nightly basis and generally sending mixed signals. "I love you" "I want something different". I quit my job, moved 50 miles away and still, I couldn't shake him. Then I read this book. From cover to cover- all in one night. The next day I emailed him and told him I was 100% done with his nonsense and have not been in contact with him since (it's been 8 months). I'm not going to lie and say that this book is going to suddenly cure you of the pain of heart break, or that you suddenly won't feel a thing for him....but it WILL snap you out of the dysfunctional dance of delusion you're stuck in. Greg is harsh and he tells you like it is. Why shouldn't you call him? "BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. EVEN IF YOU THINK HE DOES, YOU'RE PROBABLY WRONG. IF HE WANTED TO TALK TO YOU, TO CHECK ON YOU, TO RECONCILE WITH YOU, HE WOULD." (Ouch!) But darn it, I needed to hear that, and what good friend is gonna put it to you that way? The guy is speaking from personal experience. (Not only from the dumper but also the dumpee- he made a darn fool of himself for a girl once too.) You'll cringe as you see yourself in some of the "Psycho Confessionals" but thankfully most are so over the top, you'll feel sane by comparison. His wife Amiira also chimes in with her experience (I found I related to her nightmare first marriage in many ways) Definitely reccommended for anyone who's felt the rejection, humiliation or confusion of any brand of break up. Before you can move on, you have to truly understand that this thing is O-V-E-R. This book is the objective slap in the face to make you see how silly you've acted over this dude. I only regret I hadn't read it sooner....it would've saved me four months of unneccessary drama.

GREAT BOOK FOR GETTING OVER BREAKING UP

Before I review this book...I would like to get a major pet peeve off my chest. I read some of the reviews before I started writing this and came across a review where the person had not read the whole book yet wrote a review. I would like to say that a review is where you read the WHOLE BOOK and then criticize it all you like...not read it halfway through and feel that writing a review is credible. It is not. The point of a review is to offer up your point of view which is not possible if you haven't read the whole book. Now that I have said that...I thought this book was terrifc. Whether you dislike Greg using the word Superfox or not...the book was insightful, funny, compassionate and didn't offer the same platitudes or psycho-babble that one encounters in other books of this genre. Greg and Amiira did not write this book from some lofty ivory tower. They have been in the trenches like a lot uf us. Greg drank and chased after his ex until he finally saw the light at the end of a very long tunnel and got into AA. Amiira was married and while not as destructive as Greg...her pain, misery [and sleepless nights] are nearly as poignant as Greg's. I have read this book three times and found something new to hold on to each time I read it. Some of the elements I particularly liked in this book start with the questions to Greg and his answers...sometimes tart ["how about pretending not to be completey crazy" he says to one woman in the throes of...well..acting completely crazy] were always enlightening. I also enjoyed "The Best Worst News", and "What I Did Wrong" where Greg and Amiira share...what they did wrong. "Psycho Confessionals" was actually great fun to read because while a lot of us have gone off the deep end when we are going through a break up...not all of us have gone to the extent some of these women have. I have offered up a silent prayer of thanks that while I thought I might go nuts...I never showed up at his door acting like it. One very smart idea that Greg and Amiira came up with was after giving advice on what you should do in the recovery proces... and while you are in the midst of moaning to yourself that you can't possibly do that...they offer up "How The Hell Am I Supposed To Do That" because they understand exactly how hard it is. My story ends a little differently because my boyfriend and I actually got back together. But here is where the book is a treasure for another reason. Instead of spending my time when I am not with my boyfriend...obsessing about my boyfriend [something I have done in every past relationship] I am using all the breakup rules they have as if we had really broken up and have re-connected with old friends...started exercising again and am completely re-organizing my life...all off which had fallen completely by the wayside as my concentration was centered around him. If my boyfriend and I had not gotten back together...I would have been able to handle it without going completely to

Very worthwhile and helpful read!

I have been going through the hardest break-up of my adult life for 6 weeks now. I bought this book on Friday and read it cover to cover. Honestly, it helped me to feel better just to know and understand that this happens to the best of us AND life goes on. I am not the only "psycho" out there and the thoughts I have been having are normal! It's amazing how an independent, strong-willed woman (i.e., me) can turn into such mush over a man. I definitely recommend this book to women of all ages.