If You Don't Die to Self, I May Have to Kill You

by Karen Long

Marital Misery? You're Not Alone Contemplating divorce? (Gasp) Never Murder? (Hmmmmm) Well, maybe... If your marriage resembles a combat zone more than a covenant commitment, you're in good company.... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1590526589
• ISBN13: 9781590526583
• Release Date: May 2006
• Publisher: Multnomah Books
• Length: 223 Pages
• Weight: 0.50 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.3" x 8.3"

Customer Reviews

I Interviewed Her After I read This Amazing Book

If You Don't Die to Self I May Have to Kill You Karen Long Hilarious and an excellent page turner is the only way to describe this wonderful book by Karen Long. At first glance you may not think that this is a Christian woman or a Christian book about marriage, but it is. The title itself gives you a hint about what lies in the pages. Mrs. Long writes a tell all book about her marriage and the hardships that she and husband Paul endure. When they married neither one of them were Christians and were saved about two years into the marriage. This salvation of their souls does not even start to save the marriage, that slowly starts it downward spiral as soon as the vows are said. The wordsy author was once a television journalist. She is now a mother of three and a stay at home mom. Her husband is an editor and a workaholic, which she views as him not being a part of their marriage and children's lives. She describes in detail some of the fights and issues that they have in their home. She then goes on to tell about how both she and her husband are changed by God, and that all the trials and problems that they endured in their marriage were for a purpose. They went to Christian counseling, churches, and learned to love and respect each other. They learned to pray together, and confess sins while praying. They learned to communicate and not to blame. There are even ten points that Mrs. Long lists at the end of the book and she talks about them in detail, not just points. They are: 1. Divorce is not an option. 2. Be brutally honest about yourself. 3. Don't deny emotions. 4. Don't be demanding. 5. Find joy in sorrow. 6. Get to know God. 7. Make your partner your friend. 8. Pray together. 9. Live with ambivalence. 10. Die to self! I absolutely loved this book. It has humor, and still a very important message. It takes courage and strength to air your dirty laundry out there for the world. I feel that this is a wonderful tool that God can use for all of us who read it. I know that it made me feel better to know that life is life, and marriage is hard, even for seemingly "perfect" people. I will be taking the lessons that I learned and applying them to my life. I am also going to share this book with all of my friends and family.

Contemplating Divorce or Murder? You NEED this book.

I have just finished Karen Long's book this morning on the train and I really, really thought I was ready for a divorce and darn it I deserve it! Obviously everyone who reads Karen's book recognizes themselves in the story somewhere. Page after page I was amazed that I have already had most of these talks (if not all) with myself or actually made some of the same moves. (such as looking at apartments, figuring out how to embezzle funds from your joint accounts so you can get a divorce and move out! Not to mention if he would just die...it wouldn't be my fault.) I was also relieved that within the first few pages Karen does something "to" Paul that made it easier for me to identify with Karen as a feisty chick rather than a goody two shoes church lady. I'd probably hang out with her. Boy, did I learn a lot as a new christian including I am to blame for a lot of my own problems. Through this book Karen and Paul are confirming and reinforcing another source of Christian teaching. Thanks to Karen Long for her "hysterical slant" on story telling.

Required Reading

I loved Karen's book! Read as if a friend was telling you "their" life story over coffee! I found myself blurting out my opinions to situations throughout the book, and meditating on the scriptures perfectly referenced throughout the trials and joys. If you don't die to self...I May Have To Kill You should be required reading to couples contemplating marriage!

Awesome

I loved the book -- it made me laugh and smile a lot, it made me cry, it made me very happy (I love happy endings), and it was very, very real. I appreciate the openness, the honesty, the transparency of the author. I completely understand all that she is talking about -- I have been in some of those places, I have seen others. It's all very real & very helpful, I think. Even if you're not a Christian, w/ the knowledge & understandings of a Christian, I think it can be very helpful. But, particularly, I hope that lukewarm Christians'eyes might be opened to seeing the difference b/w a faint-hearted faith that really goes its own way & a trusting faith that lets God lead, whereby they can proceed by faith, not leaning on their own understandings, and REALLY know God, and know that joy & freedom. Down to the front & back covers, the pictures & quotes, I think it's an excellent book. I am not one to read, certainly not FINISH a book. Yet I couldn't put this one down and I was done reading it in a flash. THAT's a miracle!

A Marriage Transformed

I very much enjoyed this book....it gives me hope that marriage can work. I am actually a friend of Paul and Karens and have been for over 20 years. I've watched them be tranformed by the love of Christ through counseling by Pastor Rich. The book reads just as if you were a part of their lives, you can feel their joy, their pain and their rebirth. The books is easy to read and will give you much input on how we need to die to self in order for God to transform our lives.