The Family Heart: A Memoir of When Our Son Came Out

by Robb Forman Dew

Book Overview

The author depicts the depth of family love in this recounting of the time when her son told her that he was gay and the events that followed.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0201624508
• ISBN13: 9780201624502
• Release Date: May 1994
• Publisher: Da Capo Press
• Length: 229 Pages
• Weight: 0.90 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 5.6" x 8.5"

Customer Reviews

AN EYE OPENER!

Upon finding out our 18-year old son was gay, my immediate thought was terror for his safety, having come out right around the time of Matthew Shepard's murder. While reading this book and learning about Bobby and Scottie, it really dawned on me as to how hard it must have been for my son growing up knowing he was gay. I am so thankful that nothing ever happened to him and that we were able to deal with it as a family. I called my son and apologized for not addressing that issue immediately and he confirmed that it was very difficult, but he knew that we would never reject him for any reason, he just knew it would be not be easy for us and he wanted to avoid causing us any pain. I think the typical parental reaction upon hearing that their child is gay is that they will be hurt physically, the loss of a dream for their lives, and how it will affect their own lives. I'm ashamed that I didn't think about my son's feelings before my own. This book really opened my eyes. My husband I have been attending PFLAG meetings for about 10 months now and plan to continue. Initially I was there to receive help from others but now I can actually help others. I'm so glad there are people like Robb Forman Dew out there.

An American Book Awards Winner now writes her own story

When R.F.Dew's son came home from Yale and said "I'm gay", the family changed forever. There was no change in his parents love for him, but learning to deal with homosexuality was something else again. She says angrily of Dr. Spock and his ilk, "They knew!--and they never told us." There are many "coming out" books, but this is by a professional writer--and it shows. As a PFLAG member I have bought many copies of this book--and I wish the audio tape were still available. One young gay man who was trying to come out to his parents played the tapes when he had his parents as a captive audience in his car.

Totally Understanding

This Book was so well written, and totally from the heart. It gave me a great understanding of what my family must be going through as I come out to them. It is the perfect book for a newly out or longtime out person. It gives insight on how your parents must be feeling, and gives parents an insight how the child coming out is feeling. I recomend that everyone reads it.

required reading for *everyone*

This book, while it has its drawbacks (not all of us live in an area like Williamstown or in a college community, and there are different issues that come up when you're dealing with a family/people of color and of a different class), is necessary. I think that Dew is able to flesh out, in her own way, what it is to really deal with homosexuality and homophobia -- whether it is your own, your child's, your parent's, you friends', etc., etc. Her reactions and lessons learned gave me enormous insight into my own parents' experiences of when I came out as a lesbian. I am finally able to forgive my parents and understand them better, and they me, and this has lead to a much much better relationship, and just more open, honest, loving lives for all of us. And Dew's epiphany of the suicidal consequences of homophobia, even in its most subtle and quiet forms, is invaluable and is something everyone should learn more about and be more aware of. Our lives and the lives of our families depend on it.

Brilliant writer. Timely subject. Magical book.

Robb Forman Dew teaches us all about REAL family values...the kind where you love and support your children, rather than destroying them. Dew is a master storyteller, and her search for truth and love make this heart- wrenching fiction...except that it is NOT fiction. It is real, and it is a story that most people NEED to read, because every day there are many people who learn that they have a gay son, daughter, friend, relative or co-worker. Everyone NEEDS to read this book.