The Best Little Boy in the World: The 25th Anniversary Edition of the Classic Memoir

by John Reid, Andrew Tobias, John Reid, et al.

Book Overview

When The Best Little Boy in the World was first published in 1973, The New York Times Book Review hailed this classic account of a young man's coming to terms with his sexuality as "uniquely frank . .... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0345381769
• ISBN13: 9780345381767
• Release Date: May 1993
• Publisher: Ballantine Group
• Length: 256 Pages
• Weight: 0.45 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.1" x 7.9"

Customer Reviews

How many of us have the same story?

I could have written this book but I didn't. It's taken me nearly 60 years to do what Andrew Tobias did in his 20s. How many "best little boys" are out there somewhere? The personal telling of his story - with delving soul-searching analysis and a great geal of humor - makes this a necessity for anyone who has lived a secret life and learned the accepted norms of society in the days when there were no real choices.

Things are not always as they seem...

When I first read this book, the author was listed as John Reid. Originally written in 1973, it is understandable that, at that time, anyone who wanted to have a `real career' couldn't risk exposure to the general public as being gay, even when trying to make the point that being gay is not the deplorable plight it is sometimes (even today) commonly held to be.The book has since been revised, both with a supplemental volume entitled 'The Best Little Boy in the World Grows Up', as well as being reissued in its original form (with minor modifications), as being authored by Andrew Tobias. Twenty-five years had passed, and Tobias had a career that was secure enough, and society had changed enough, that he felt he could lend his true name to the cover of the text.This book is a coming out tale. Slowly but surely, while taking great pains to conceal the truth, Tobias lived the model life. Raised in an upper-middle class family that met all the criteria for statistical happiness, Tobias was himself an all-American, boy-next-door type who was good at school, good at sports, respectful of elders, always fulfilling expectations. What better closet in which to hide save that of being successfully normal, and a normal success? Tobias confides his agonising attempts to masquerade as `normal' - his time at Yale, with roommates who expected him to be as interested in girlfriends as they and any other `normal' 20 year old male should be. Sometimes humourous but somewhat painful to read, his unrequited love for one of his roommates while having to pretend at carrying on relationships with women, made for strange bedfellows indeed (if you'll forgive the pun). As he grew older, he grew bolder, perhaps out of desperation, perhaps out of frustration. Perhaps it was just being tired of being alone in the universe, which is often how he felt - alone with his feeling, unable to share anything truthful.Finally, Tobias began revealing himself to ever-wider circles of friends, and generally fell `into a bad crowd', considering the Best Little Boy in the World (for which he uses the acronym BLBITW in mocking self-reference) had never even smoked a cigarette. Drugs, alcohol, all fueled by a high-paying job that helped him keep his cover. Tobias was in the process of running from society and running from himself, i.e., the image he had constructed for himself of who he thought he should be, based on societal norms. He hurt a lot of people along the way, which is unfortunate, but perhaps no more in reality than any of us do in our various ways without being aware of the consequences of our actions? Tobias was better known (until his revelation of authorship of this volume) as an author of financial self-help books, investment and insurance texts, and other such professional writings. Thankfully he is able to be honest enough (not the least of which, with himself) that he can claim authorship of 'The Best Little Boy in the World' -- in a world where conformity is encouraged by

It's still true.

I picked this book up last night and couldn't stop reading. I thought mine was a unique journey, but it's not. Mr. Tobias has already been there - about twenty five years ago. If you have a similar background - WASP, upper middle class upbringing, sports oriented - you'll likely find yourself in this book. Sure, he disparages other types of gay men, but that's what's so honest - he's telling you how he really feels, whether it's p.c. or not. Too many books about coming out tell you some perfect version of how you should feel.My story is very much like this one, a long struggle within myself, a lot of dodging (the story about faking hookups with girls in college hit so close that my hands started shaking, as did the sinking feeling after college when everyone starts pairing up and getting married). Sure some things have changed since the 1970s, but a whole lot has not. The emotions and coping mechanisms for someone like myself are all still the same.Coming out (recently) has been a struggle, mostly within myself. This book, since I relate to the author's socioeconomic background, carried a charge of recognition like nothing I've ever read before. This book has given me the hope to keep moving forward.

A wonderfully contemporary novel

I found this book to be one of the most insightful and helpful books I have ever read. Although Mr. Tobias (aka John Reid) came out in the 70's, when it was far less safe or politically correct to do so, many of his emotions and internal struggles remain true to young people who are today struggling with their identies. Although at times Mr. Tobias has a tendancy to ramble in his writing, this only adds to the book's charm. It is a must read for gay and straight people alike. For the former it teaches that they are not alone in their sturggles, for the latter it teaches acceptance and understanding. It is truly a modern classic about a subject much too rarely discussed.

A must for anyone coming out... I read it cover to cover.

At a time while I was trying to come to terms with my own sexuality, this book was a GODsend. I read it cover to cover one day huddled in a public library and almost cried throughout the book knowing that there were others out there like myself. Reid was and still is the best author I have ever read that made me feel like i possibly did not have to hide, that there were others like me. I felt as if I were reading my own autobiography, though I had not yet made the progress that he had. While at times it almost did (or did) bring me to tears, afterwords, I was uplifted for a period (looking back) of days during a very rough time in my life. I strongly recomend this book to anyone who feels like they are the ONLY "boy" in the world out there that feel the way they do. I would like to shake Reid's hand and say thank you.