Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way: Based on the Program Mandated in Family Courts Nationwide

by M. Gary Neuman and Patricia Romanowski Bashe

Book Overview

Divorce is painful and confusing. Perhaps now more than ever, you want to give your child all the love, support, and guidance he or she needs, but everything seems harder and more complicated. Helping... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0679778012
• ISBN13: 9780679778011
• Release Date: August 1999
• Publisher: Random House Trade
• Length: 480 Pages
• Weight: 2.00 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.2" x 7.4" x 9.3"

Customer Reviews

Helping Children Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way

I am a professional Christian Counselor. I work primarily with children and their parents. I use recommend this book for all divorced parents who wish to make things work between dad's house and mom's house. It also gives practical, easy helps for parents who do not know how to respond to their children's anger, questions and pain. I have found it very helpful and many of the families I work with have also.

The #1 Resource for Divorcing Parents

This was the most comprehensive resource I found to help me understand what my children may be experiencing as a result of my divorce. It is full of both heart-wrenching and enlightening truths spoken by children of all ages. It's not a book for those who are in denial. It's for those parents who recognize that one of the major consequences of divorce is a life changing event for their children. If you want to know what you're children are really experiencing and want to help, this book is for you! Be warned, it will make you cry, feel pain for your children, and possibly resurrent feelings of guilt. But it will also give you insight and direct you in how to continue parenting effectively with love and guidance, with or without the cooperation of your ex-spouse.In the state of Vermont, it is required by the Family Court law that divorcing parents attend a 6-hour long workshop on "co-parenting" and the effects of negative parent behavior on children. What a joke! I wish instead that the state of Vermont mandated that every divorcing parent read this resource. I learned so much more from Gary Neuman and the children and families he has worked with.This thorough book covers every topic imaginable that is associated with divorce and family transition. The focus is from the child's perspective on matters such as validating your childrens feelings, protecting your children from conflict, separating adult issues from children's issues, custody and visitation, uncooperative parents and parent-bashing, child support and financial stress, relocating, dating, and most importantly, how children "feel" about all the ups and downs associated with this life changing event.I highly recommend this book for every parent who is experiencing a family separation. I still pull it out periodically before I crawl into bed. It's a great "reality check" and helps keep things in perspective, still, two years after our family experienced this transition.

Helpful, sensitive advice for fathers and mothers

I have read a number of books for divorcing parents, and this is by far the best. The range of information given is enormous (460 pages!) and covers almost any situation you can imagine. This is the ONLY book I have seen that discusses how to help infants cope with divorce. Neuman's discussion of the needs of children has given me the motivation to avoid fighting with my ex, even when he makes extremely aggravating remarks. His suggestions have also helped me keep my son's father involved; in fact, he spends much more time with our son than he ever did when we were married. The example dialogues are very helpful, and reflect the diversity of real families. Neuman is careful to avoid stereotypes, for example he gives anecdotes about deadbeat moms as well as deadbeat dads.

HELPFUL UNDERSTANDING OF HELPING KIDS IN DIVORCE

I STRONGLY RECOMMEND READING THIS BOOK. AFTER HEARING GARY NEUMAN SPEAK AT A BOOK SIGNING, I PURCHASED THIS BOOK. THIS BOOK HAS GUIDED ME THROUGH THE PROCESS OF DIVORCE, TO MAKE SURE THAT MY CHILD CAME THROUGH THIS DIFFICULT TIME WIHTHOUT TOO MUCH PAIN. I HAVE REFERRED TO THIS BOOK PRIOR TO MY DIVORCE AND TO THE PRESENT, 4 MONTHS AFTER. GARY NEUMAN, WRITES IN A WONDERFUL, EASY TO UNDERSTAND MANNER FOR ALMOST EVERY SITUATION THAT WILL ARISE. BUY THIS BOOK, AND READ IT, SO YOUR KIDS AND YOU CAN HANDLE THIS DIVORCE THE SANDCASTLES WAY. IF GARY NEUMAN IS SPEAKING SOMEWHERE, GO HEAR HIM SPEAK. YOU WILL BE HAPPY YOU DID!!

A great resource for divorcing parents

As a child therapist I found this book to be very helpful. I recommend it to all my parents who are divorcing. It is in plain, straightforward language. This book can help the millions of parents who need some insight into what the reactions of children are when their parents divorce. The book discusses developmental, co-parenting, and a plethora of related issues. His style is compassionate, lighthearted, and genuine. A must read for parents who are divorcing and professionals who work with these parents.