Staying Connected While Letting Go: The Paradox of Alzheimer's Caregiving

The collaboration of licensed therapist and Alzheimer caregiving expert Sandy Braff and Mary Rose Olenik (Staff Research Associate in the Department of Psychiatry, University of California - San Diego and a participant in an N.I.H. grant studying the effects of stress on the immune system of Alzheimer's caregivers), Staying Connected While Letting Go: The Paradox Of Alzheimer's Caregiving is a "reader friendly" guide to Alzheimer's debilitating effects on the mind, the stress of handling both the physical demands and the emotional turmoil of caring for a loved one suffering from Alzheimer's. Providing expert advice for avoiding the trap of neglecting one's own health; counsel for dealing with sensitive issues such as inappropriate public behavior in one's patient; and much, much more fill the pages of this very highly recommended guide for all Alzheimer's caregivers. If you have a loved one suffering from Alzheimer's, then give a careful reading to Staying Connected While Letting Go.

Over the four years during which my brother and sister and I arranged for, and provided, care for our mother, I experienced the soul numbing range of horrors that Alzheimer's disease visits on both its victims and their caregivers.

* The disbelief that my mother could possibly forget that she had asked me the same question three times in 10 minutes, followed by the self-hatred at my anger and lack of understanding.
* The feelings of helplessness and confusion that accompanied our struggles to figure out what would be best for her, and the absence of definitive answers from the medical community.
* The deluded belief at each particular phase of her illness that things couldn't possibly get any worse, only to watch the next descent destroy more of who she was.
* The heartbreaking relief when she smiled at me in recognition when I arrived to visit.
* The innumerable times that I had to pull my car to the curb as I returned home because I was sobbing so deeply that I could no longer see the road.
* And, most of all, the overwhelmingly empty feeling of isolation and solitude.

Now, I watch from a distance as my cousins endure the same horrors in caring for my mother's brother. But they have a reaffirming guide that was unavailable to us. I sent them a copy of Staying Connected While Letting Go.

In our high tech world, we often forget the importance of the individual human story in passing along culture, history, knowledge, and simple wisdom. But to me, the highest value of the human story is to trigger in the listener, or reader, a sense of shared humanity. Recognizing one's own experiences in the story of another person shatters one's sense of isolation. This is the genius of Staying Connected While Letting Go.

Ms. Olenik and Ms. Braff have structured their book around the stories of caregivers, who describe their experiences with their loved ones at successive phases of the illness. Neither the caregivers nor the authors try to sanitize what is frequently the unpleasant reality of facing and reacting to the confusing and disturbing behaviors that can accompany Alzheimer's. As a result, the book has a credibility that will strengthen its appeal to caregivers, while sharing the coping mechanisms of the caregiving community to which they belong.

It's extraordinarily rare to find a book that has such enormous potential to help people who desperately need a sense of community. The authors deserve our thanks!

As a long time caregiver, I wanted to thank you so much for the gift of your wonderful book. It's a continuous support group for Alzheimer's caregivers. There were so many stories and situations I related to, since I experienced some of the same events over time. Having participated in a support group for caregivers for 15 years, I found the book to show great understanding and empathy of caregivers, and to be a real acknowledgement of all the caregivers I have known and learned with over the past 15 years. It's a great resource and will be a wonderful help to all who read it!!

Yvonne - a caregiver for 15 years.

In the family crisis of Alzheimer's, often it is the caregiver who is forgotten. This sensitively-written and compassionate book helps those in this situation cope with things - from the micro to the macro. I highly recommend it, for professionals who are helping the patients and their families, and for the families themselves. Two thumbs up to the authors for a fine piece of work.

"Staying Connected While Letting Go", is not the typical book I buy. I received my copy from my sister and co-author, Mary Rose Olenik.

Once into the book, I became totaly involved. I realized how very little I knew about this terrible disease. This book is not only educational and helpfull, but also real world and even scary. Upon completing the book, I ordered a copy for my brother-in -law, whose wife is afflicted with Alzheimer's.

I would recommend this book for Senior Citizens, anyone with an interest in Alzheimer's and manditory for caregivers.

You did good Lil Sis