The New Dare to Discipline

I've read the book a few times since my daughter was born. She is only 2yrs old. I didn't buy this book because i wanted a fool-proof manual in rearing my child, but i bought it as a guide, something to refer to if i should encounter some discipline problems.
I believe that the reason people have issues with this book is because they view it as some religious method of discipline which it's not. He does mention "stuff" that religious and to be honest I usually skip over that mumbo-jumbo. I could careless about scripture this or book of whatever. What you want to get out of if this book is experiences other parents have encountered (some which are probably similar things you have gone through or will go through in the near future) and ways they have handled it. If anything it sheds a light on why and how the parents reaction to the problem was wrong and how it could have been handled differently.
I grew up in a household were both my parents used spanking (sometimes I thought it was a bit excessive, but as i became an adult, i've thanked them for loving me enough to do that). My parents had six kids, 3 older ones (32, 30 (me), 27) and they have 3 younger ones (19, 16, 9). The youngers didn't get the same discipline as the older ones did and i have to say, you can see a big difference. The 19yr old used drugs, drugged my mom so she can leave the house, cut classes, the list goes on and on. The 16yr old has a son that's almost 2yrs old, and the 9year old is having an extremely hard time in school. Now i dont know what happened to my parents that made them decide not to discipline the younger ones (maybe they got tired and old) but I really feel horrible for them because they didnt' have the discipline and love that the older ones had. But anyway, I consider myself a good human being and in no way telling anyone to go beat the living snot out of their kids. But I do suggest you read the book for yourself and not become a fanatic or anything like that. Dont' read too much into the book, Don't follow it word for word.. merely use it as a guide and you wont go wrong. Dont be scared about disciplining your kids, if you do it right with love, caring and their best interest at heart they'll thank you when they become parents.

FYI, many of these reviewers have not even read this book, let alone have tried the methods or philosophy. There is a link from a website that opposes all forms of corporal punishment. The site provides quotes taken out of context and interpreted for the reader, then they request you provide a negative review on a book you have not really read. This is the basis for a number of the negative reviews here and at Barnes and Noble. I linked from the site. I have NOT read this book, but I have read others that they bash, and can attest that much of the information given was misrepresented.

After actually reading the entire book, it is clear that Dr. Dobson promotes a loving discipline that allows children to feel loved and accepted with a perfect combination of freedom and safety. What I like most about this book is its focus on nurturing imperfect yet cooperative and loving children. It amazes me that some people actually believe this book promotes abuse and harsh treatment of children. ... This book is for those people who really care for their children and their future. It is a perfect book that mixes common sense with sound professional advice based on years of research and experience. It is true that Dr. Dobson is not against corporal punishment. He stresses the appropriate use of it in limited circumstances. It is refreshing to read a book that is well balanced in this way. He resists the temptation to be cave in to the political correctness idea of no spanking, yet he draws the line and openly rebukes those who use corporal punishment as the chief way to discipline. If you are looking for a well balanced approach on discipline that focuses on love, nurturance, communication, and responsibility; this book is a must!

I read the original Dare to Discipline book when my first two kids were 5 and 3 yrs old. The book taught my wife and I that much of what our old fashioned parents did in the way of spanking and punishment was really for our own good. But the book did more than that, it taught us that NOT everything our parents did was healthy or esteem building. Dr Dobson stressed that spanking was best limited to willful disobediance and unsafe/harmful behavior. I've seen the opposite of this philosophy so many times at the Mall, the Grocery Store and the ball field it makes my head spin. Too many parents yell at their kids or ask their kids over and over again to do this or go there...and the kids merely blow them off. Why should they obey when there are no serious consequences for disrespect behavior? Other parents pull out the belt or paddle for all deviations (which, of course, borders on abuse). Anyway, my wife and I spanked occasionally when our kids were blowing us off...when they were purposefully hurting other kids...when they acting in an unsafe manner (playing in the street or sticking their fingers in the sockets). My older kids are both full 4-yr scholarship winners in college and their younger siblings are straight-A students. Our kids also receive consistent praise from teachers, coaches and church leaders for their positive and respectful attitudes. Dr Dobson's advice works...especially if both you and your spouse use the techniques consistently.

I truly cannot fathom what book some of these other reviewers read - it surely can't be the same one. This book offered pretty practical information that I would consider to be traditional, maybe even old-fashioned...but it works! My parents did similar things with me and I have no emotional scars or voids - we have a fabulous relationship and I am a healthy, functional adult.

Yes, in certain very specific cirumstances he does advocate spanking, but that's like any other book - you dont have to do it. If you are opposed to corporal punishment, then modify his suggestions to work for your family.

I think this is a very good, very practical resource to help parents, and it has been grossly misrepresented and unfairly characterized by other reviewers.