The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

"The Game", at first, appears to be an informative, eye-opening, entertaining and DANGEROUS MANUAL ON HOW TO SEDUCE WOMEN. Deep within this controversial book, however, lies one of the best self improvement books available to man... as long as he understands and embraces the fundamental reality that the acquisition of confidence and personal worth are strictly required in order to succeed at the Game. A lot of low self esteem individuals will read this book and become, I believe, better men.

And I completely understand the threat many women would feel by this material. But intelligent women are insulated from the manipulation at which many of the individuals featured in this story are so inept. Only the naïve are at risk, as they always have been.

Many people refer to this book as a manual on how to seduce women. But Neil Strauss, its author, never made such a claim. It was merely his honest and humorous account of his experience in the PUA (pickup artist) community. But Strauss is a talented writer. And, as such, he not only managed to make this the very entertaining and insightful manual everybody said it was, but has also given an extremely valuable tool to goodhearted men with benign goals - a tool that can be used with mutual benefit, without anyone getting hurt or played. In spite of other reviewers' claims to the contrary, Strauss does disclose the nature and vivid examples of the emotional and spiritual consequences PUAs reap when they manipulate people for narcissistic purposes.

This endeavor began when Strauss, a writer for the New York Times, was given an assignment to write about the underground pickup artist community. Strauss was a skinny, balding intellectual who felt awkward around women and hadn't had much success with them prior. He immediately homed in on a character named Mystery and hit the mother load. Mystery was a modern day Casanova and widely considered, by the cumulative underground community of PUAs, to be the preeminent pickup artist in the world. Tom Cruise's seduction guru character in "Magnolia" was supposedly based on Mystery. By the time Strauss finished his assignment, he had transformed himself and assumed Mystery's title as tenth degree pickup master of the universe.

As I began reading the book, I felt uneasy. Knowing this knowledge was out there felt akin to suddenly discovering a bunch of troubled kids figured out how to make nuclear weapons.

I've always had great interest in psychology and what makes people do the things they do. I discovered my knowledge of psychology was pale in comparison to these guys. They (the serious ones) study contemporary literature on psychology and ancillary subjects, many of which involve some sort of self-improvement. The young, horny ones operate with one laser-focused mission: Bed women... bed as many "9+" women as possible! The more they bed, the more they validate themselves. But some, more enlightened ones, were simply looking to find the best wife/partner they possibly could.

Strauss began as Mystery's student. After a few successes, he began to catch the eye of other PUAs to whom he quickly acclimated himself. He soaked up their knowledge like a sponge. At the end of two years, Strauss had studied, one-on-one, the methods of all the world's alleged greatest pickup artists and took that which best suited his own personal style and made it his own. In the process he became an underground, worshipped legend - Code Name: Style. But in the process, he also greatly strengthened his core person and acquired the Holy Grail: self-esteem. This book doesn't just contain the cumulative knowledge of the PUA community, but one hell of an entertaining story.

It must be stated that the Game's contribution to much of Strauss' unstoppable success is mitigated by the fact that he was a writer for one of the most respected publications in the world, living in a mansion in the Hollywood Hills over Sunset Boulevard (a consequence of rising to the top of the PUA community), regularly interviewing celebrities and driving a nice car; most men with these assets aren't having issues dating. Still, I believe the majority of what he achieved was aided by his mastery of the basic principals of "The Game". And those are:

1. You can only "game" a woman with whom you are prepared to fail (if you find yourself wanting her too badly, you'll never have her)
2. Exude extreme confidence
3. Demonstrate some kind of value, skill or talent NEAR your target, but not directly to her. Initially, pretend you don't even notice her.
4. Win over her friends
5. Be hard to get
6. Be fun
7. Handle challenges from competing men intellectually and psychologically. Never fight.
8. Respond to any signs that she's not interested as if it were "no big deal"
9. Once you have your target's attention, playfully insult ("neg") her. For example, "I like your hair, is that your natural color?" The more beautiful the woman, the more effective the neg is in garnering interest as they rarely hear comments of that nature.
10. Once attraction has been established, punish any unwanted behavior by withdrawing and disinterest, but do not pout or have an attitude.
11. Alternate between attraction and disinterest signals in a push-pull fashion until rapport is established

There are many other rules, but those are the ones that stuck out to me.

As I read, I found myself subconsciously adjusting my behavior, according to Game theory... and getting surprising results. Women that used to intimidate me with their "presence" were suddenly acting goofy/nervous around me. Could this be real? After I got over the initial excitement of my newfound knowledge, I began to get disappointed that the women that made ME goofy/nervous for so long could be so easily manipulated. I feared that I would start to lose respect for women. Who wants someone they don't respect?

But by the time I got to the end, I realized that I wasn't manipulating anyone. I was simply carrying myself with more confidence. I found myself initiating conversations with strangers. There were no signs of neediness or social anxiety. I realized a man with a conscience can take a small portion of the knowledge shared in "The Game" to simply get over that first, most difficult hurdle of establishing rapport with a woman to whom he is attracted. I realized all anyone reading this book is really looking for is confidence. And many individuals that happen to gain a skill or talent as a result of his quest for a better sex life might just get some self esteem in the process. And that, I believe, is the greatest good of this material. The greater one's self esteem, the higher his goals.

Knowledge is power. And it's only how that power is used that can reveal the nature of its possessor. The only real dangerous "players" out there are the ones whose cognitive reasoning and emotional maturity never fully develop and, at the same time, possess Oscar-worthy acting skills. Yeah, there are a few out there. But an intelligent woman knows when she's being played. And as Strauss saw repeatedly, manipulating and seducing a woman, in and of itself, is a victory that invariably leaves one hollow, still unfulfilled. In the end, your true self is what counts and is the only thing that can find and keep love.

Fascinating book about the PUA subculture. Love the black leather like binding and the red bookmark. Highly recommend reading for any man that wants to broaden his horizons.
I've read similar books and I'll share some observations to aspiring PUA's : All the good PUA guys either are either somewhat naturally charismatic, or have higher education and / or have established careers with significant incomes. While I'm not suggesting that you have to be rich or handsome to be a successful PUA, you will need to be getting a paycheck somehow. And higher education is a definite plus. Odd how all these books seem to leave out this essential fact.

Invest in yourself. Material things come to those that have self actualized.

If something has a direct benefit to an individual or a class of people, and a theoretical, abstract, or amorphous benefit to everybody else, realize that the proponent's intentions are to benefit the former, not the latter, no matter what bull they try to feed you.

Don't take proffered advice without a critical analysis. 90 % of all advice is intended to benefit the proponent, not the recipient. Actually, the number is probably closer to 97 but I don't want to come off as cynical.

As a young man, you're on your own. Society divides and conquers. Unlike women who have advocates looking out for them (NOW, Women's Study Departments, government, non-profit organizations, political advocacy groups) almost no one is looking out for you. Know that few people have your best interests at heart. Your mother does. Your father probably does (if he stuck around). Your siblings are on your side. Everybody else worries about themselves.

Remember, 97% of all advice is worthless. Take what you can use, and trash the rest.

I'm 52, married, don't know the author, have never heard of this secret society and still found this book fascinating. I say this because so many reviewers seem to have an agenda. From the arrival of this book b4 a business trip where my wife asked if I was going through another mid-life crisis, to the enjoyable but staccato writing style of Strauss, I read this book in pure fascination but half the time wondering if it was fiction. From reading these reviews it is clear there is basis for this book. But a Project Hollywood with male drama and Courtney Love thrown in for humor? Well, evidently it was true.

This book should be read by all young men. Yes, some have the ability to approach women in some manner, but most DON'T have the ability in ANY manner. This book will help. Does it give contrived starting lines? Sure, but the point of the book is, "men need it" and when most people think of pick-up lines, these are actually exactly the opposite as more fully explained in the book. We are not conditioned to know the appropriate way to approach women! But apparently, we can learn.

This book is educational on talking to women but also an interesting story about the crazy, neurotic lives these guys live. As to the author, his writing style is much too young for me but I did enjoy watching him weave this story and predict a bright journalistic career for him. I had previously read his biography of Jenna Jamison and enjoyed it also. I have not seen much publicity about this book. I heard about it from the short story in Esquire. I would love to read the NY Times article referenced in the book. I recommend this book for both men and women in their dating years but also recommend others read this that just want to learn about interpersonal relationships or read a zany life of needy men.

The majority of the negative reviews seem to come from people who feel it's their duty to turn up their noses at the sleeze 'n' cheese of the Pick-Up Artist Community. After all, a Society that exists for the sole purpose of seducing poor, defenseless club-hopping women isn't deserving of our respect.

Maybe. But we're not reviewing a society. we're reviewing a book. And as such it's one of the most entertaining books I've ever read.

Using a crisp, succinct and witty writing style, author Neil Strauss chronicles his inflitration of a secret society of Pick-Up Artists (PUAs) who prowl the Southern California coast. These men use all means of tools...from neuro-linguistic programming to gimmicks and routines...to play upon the insecurities of women as a means of getting them into bed. Along the way, he examines the psychology of women as a means of illustrating just why some of these tricks work.

It should be noted that this is NOT a "How-To" book. But as a guy, it definitely gave me a deeper understanding about how women think (as well as some insight into the age-old question "What does SHE see in THAT guy?").

But Strauss also gives you a deeper insight into the male brain, as he exposes many of the PUA Masters as men who simply are in constant need of validation and approval. While on one hand he marvels at the seeming ease in which the PUAs seduce and entice women, he acknowledges that there's something sad about these men.

At the heart of this book, however, is Strauss's own story of transformation. In two years, he goes from a nerdy writer who could never get a date to a master of seduction, juggling a differnet woman every night of the week. Strauss deftly balances his own disbelief at his conquests with just the right mix of boastful wit and cynical foreboding.

"The Game" is a humorous and well written account of a fascinating world populated by some interestng individuals. And while these people may not neccesarily be to your liking, the author does a fine job in showing that...regardless of gender...all we as human beings want is to belong.

You may hate the players...but don't hate "The Game".

Strippers. Liquid lounge womanizers. It has you hooked in seconds. With each page turned, the alluring to creepy Casanova villains and victims come alive. Drinks are shaken not stirred. Jacuzzis overflowing with blondes. Miniskirts and thongs slice the heated air, hanging from the ceiling fan. The Game is a fast-paced, mesmerizing tale of a underground secret society. A study in social psychology, transformations from nerd to stud, emotional self-destruction, evolving into the creation of the seduction industry.

Investigative journalist Neil Strauss of Rolling Stone/NY Times fame provides an exhilarating memoir as he submerses himself in the shadowy lair of pickup artists. Bizarre. Alluring. It`s a cult-like subculture of hipsters who've cracked the persuasion code. Lives dedicated to seducing as many women as possible. Unpredictable story lines. A flurry of celebs. Replete with a stunningly bizarre cast of narcissistic and yet colorful characters.

But this is not a tale of the skills he obtains, or the women he seduces.

It's a journey of self discovery. It's the tale of the men he befriends, lives with and works with in his quest of becoming a master pickup artist. It's about male bonding and relationships. It's about the emotional trauma the men experience by devoting their lives to the pick up artist endeavor.

Neil's assignment is ironic. He was born a nerdish, unconfident geek. Despite having two bestsellers under his belt, he was a self-described chick repellant. Short, bald, skinny, with a big schnoz. Painfully shy, Neil is as miles away from a world-class womanizer. He schooled for 3 years at a womens college (Vassar) and never had a girlfriend.

He dives in headfirst, burns the midnight oil reading three boxes of persuasion books. He studies aura, handwriting analysis, palm reading, magic tricks, and posts online all day in the seduction message boards. Taken under the wings of the self-proclaimed greatest pickup artists, he researches techniques, obsessively testing gaming theories in clubs seven days a week.

His professional wingman is a charismatic diminutive figure, one Erick Von Markovick, aka Mystery. Mystery is king of the PUAs, with a worldwide following of disciples and students. An outlandish dresser and swashbuckling self-promoter, Mystery single-handedly invents an entire language of acronyms and jargon and field techniques for speed seduction. He adapts group dynamics, reverse psychology and neurolinguistic programming into conversation to subconsciously seduce, in a sleight of hand fashion. Under his tutoring, PUAs perfect a slavish dependency on routines and patterns until they become successful social marketing robots.

In a scant two years, Neil transforms from journalist loner into "Style", a legendary seducer. The seduction community evolves from merely an anonymous online forum into an overnight lucrative business. Soon Mystery and Strauss are world known as the pre-eminent social scientists of attraction. Neil has them set up shop at Project Hollywood - holding court in Dean Martin's old Hollywood Hills mansion. The snake oil characters who frequent the sex frat include a bizarre cast of characters. Mystery, and various luminaries with handles like Juggler and Papa, Sweater, Matador, Juggler and J Dog. It becomes a revolving door for parties, celebs, and loose women. Home to an unknown number of roommates. Even Courtney Love moves in. Tom Cruise lectures Neil about their methods; Neil reminds him he did a movie glamorizing Neil's new lifestyle. (Magnolia). Heidi Fleiss gets in a competition to pick up women, and ends up losing, so she c*blocks Neil at every turn. Paris Hilton and Britney Spears get number closed for dates.

But in the end, Neil discovers "The Game" is a dangerous obsessive Pandora's box. The players are fiercely competitive, full of Machiavellian tactics. The seductive power can corrupt, and bedding babes by the dozens may not lead to self satisfaction. And he loses himself in the insatiable elixir of seduction and lust.

Spellbinding, can only describe the trials and tribulations inside the secret fraternity. Neil gets his bestseller, which has been optioned by a Hollywood studio. Despite the creepy environment, you sense he is a genuine decent human being. He is self-deprecating, and shares his failings and frustrations. He manages to retain sight in the bizarre nature of his surrounding in which he is now embedded. But in the end, he suffers dark reflections on who and what he has become. He feels hollow at the dehumanization of women...and of himself. He loses the respect of women the more successful he is at seducing them. He is passionate about women, but comes to hate being Style.

And his posse of clandestine lady killers experience hedonistic highs, and devastating lows in the aftermath of their endeavors. The emotional toll on the crew is sobering. Project Hollywood becomes a commune infested with inter-community rivalries, dysfunctional neurotic behavior, and complete nervous breakdowns. It all eventually implodes. Neil meets his now steady girlfriend Lisa (the drummer in Courtney Love's band), and decides to retire Style.

The Game is a raunchy expose of epic proportions of a seriously twisted subculture. Strauss pens it in an addictive seductive style. Magnificently crafted with characters and emotions. You share his inner journalist voice as if it's your own. Damn near impossible to put this book down.

Others in the pick up genre you should pick up;
The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed

Written by the guru of the seduction community. His encyclopedia-like book reads like a PHD college course on seduction. It is the template for what Strauss uses in the Game. It lays out the techniques, terminology, and methodology for anyone to learn.

The Professional Bachelor Dating Guide - How to Exploit Her Inner Psycho
A hilarious, devious sexual persuasion guide for hooking up, written by a psych doc lounge lizard who conquered the nightclubs for decades. It includes a world bachelor party vacation guide, and an asset protection guide to set up pre-marriage to shield you from divorce.

I'd recommend you get all three. Prepare to get shocked, to laugh and to learn.